Sleep sleep sleep , oh what I would give for a good night’s sleep.
It’s almost four thirty in the morning and I am sat here wide awake and not the slightest bit tired. Although I am extremely tired of my shit life and the total lack of substance and satisfaction I am enjoying at the mo.
So I thought I would say hello and mess about on my computer for a while and seeing that the wife’s bingo was running in the background I thought I would play some games and as luck would have it I’ve just won £65.00 quid, although as its in her account I’ll not be seeing any of it and no doubt won’t even get a thank you.
Well she is pissed off – I’ve kept her awake most of the night.
I know what you’re thinking bingo? But I hate horse racing and anyways I couldn’t pick a winner if it was a one horse race.
I kid you not, but last Grand National (and the five before that) I placed about 10 bets on ten different horses, all each way and you know what? I didn’t win a penny, zilch!
I must be the only Irish man on the planet who doesn’t have a natural affinity with horses and an in depth knowledge of the in’s and out’s of each and every horse that was ever born and run a race and I’m not on first named terms with the local bookie, who considers all Irish men as his best friends – until the money runs dry.
My sleeps been all over the place for the past few weeks now and it’s getting me down. I stopped smoking on the 1st Jan (after thirty years of between 30 – 40 a day) and I’m using those Nicorette inhalators and apparently they can affect your sleep pattern and also giving up smoking can also play havoc with your natural equilibrium – according to the INTERNET!
But also I have many things going on at the minute that are stressing me out and to be honest my heads all over the place and I think I may be suffering from mild depression , brought on by a multitude of things that only I can change and/or deal with , but I just can’t seem to get to grip with it and burying my head in the sands has unsurprisingly achieved nothing thus far.
I know I need to face my shit head on and nothings gonna change until I man up and sort my life out once and for all. You may be wondering what the hell is going on with him? What’s so bad? And to be honest my tiny problems are so insignificant when I look around me and see what others are going through and the terrible suffering around the world and yet in my world the little things seem to be almost paralysing my ability to function properly and move forward…….
Ok, this train of thought is not making me feel any better , so I’m gonna try and sneak into bed ( without waking the wife) and get some sleep. Next time I write I’ll maybe go into more details about what’s making me so blue and I’m sorry for being so miserable and down , but I’m having an off day and we have those from time to time.
I promise tomorrow I’ll pick myself up .
Because as the saying goes “ Tomorrow is another day”