Only thirteen days to go until I hit the big 6-0, and I have to admit I’m getting quite excited about my upcoming trip to Belfast and spending time with the people I love and cherish most in the world.
At the same time, I’m feeling a little apprehensive. Reaching such a milestone age has got me thinking a lot about the future, and the need to start looking after myself better and making some long-overdue lifestyle changes weighs heavily on my mind.
I also need to get my finger out and start pursuing some of the projects I’ve had on ice for the past few years, including:
Finishing my follow-up book
I’ve already mapped out the chapters and started writing several of them, but if I’m being honest, my head hasn’t been in the best place over the last few years. I need to shake off the blues, regain my focus, and get back to it. Time is moving on, and I don’t want to leave this unfinished.
Getting back to work on my screenplay
The screenplay is loosely based on my book – think Philomena meets Trainspotting and Quadrophenia, if you get my drift. Music will play a huge part in the story, and the soundtrack I’ve mapped out is absolutely epic.
A well-known UK screenwriter has expressed an interest in the project, but unfortunately he’s tied up with other commitments at the moment. While I’d love to have him involved, I can’t afford to sit around waiting forever.
A few years ago, I pitched the idea to Northern Ireland Screen, and they loved the concept. They asked for some rewrites, but at the time I wasn’t in a great place mentally, and the project ended up getting kicked into the long grass. Looking back, that’s one of the things I’d really like to put right.
Improving my health
On the health front, I need to stop smoking. I’ve tried countless times over the years without success, but I know it’s something I have to tackle.
I also need to cut down on my alcohol intake. To be fair, these days I mainly drink at weekends and on special occasions, but with my 60th birthday celebrations just around the corner, I’m going to park that challenge until after my Belfast trip. Then it’ll be time to give it the attention it deserves.
Having said all that, it is Friday night, and as I write this I’m enjoying a few gins and beers. I’ll try not to get too carried away… famous last words!
Laters x
Birthday wishes are lovely… but birthday drinks are even better! 😉🍸
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One foot in the Grave – countdown to my 60th Birthday has begun
Date 27th June 2026
OMG… in just a few weeks’ time I’ll be turning 60, and if I’m honest, I’m amazed I’ve (almost) reached this numerical milestone.
How the hell did that happen ?
1784217000
days
hours minutes seconds
until
Until my 60th birthday
There were many times in my life when 60 didn’t just feel far away—it felt impossible.
If you’ve read my book, you’ll know my early life was full of chaos and heartbreak. Through my crazy teens and early adulthood, I abused my mind, body and soul with hedonistic excess, fuelled by copious amounts of alcohol , illegal drugs and a fatalistic attitude to life—one where I rarely, if ever, considered the consequences of my actions or the danger I was placing myself in.
Looking back now, I can see that I was probably trying to self‑medicate. Numbing the trauma of my early family life. Trying to escape the everyday brutal reality of growing up in the lawless paramilitary ghettos of West Belfast during the early Troubles.
But here’s the strange thing.
At the time, it all felt normal.
Don’t get me wrong—there was madness and despair in abundance, life lived permanently on edge, the constant undercurrent of violence—but it was the only world we knew. My childhood, like that of my peers, didn’t feel extraordinary to us. It was just life. We didn’t have anything to compare it to, no alternative version of normal.
Despite the odds being stacked against me somehow, I survived. And now, decades later, I’m still here—on the brink of 60—trying to make sense of it all.
How long have I been alive ?
Days:
60 × 365.25 = 21,915 days
Minutes:
21,915 × 24 × 60 = 31,557,600 minutes
Seconds:
31,557,600 × 60 = 1,893,456,000 seconds
21,915 days
That’s about 3,130 weeks
Or roughly 720 months
31.5 million minutes
If you spent 1 minute doing something repeatedly, you’d need over 60 years nonstop to reach this!
Listening to a 3-minute song nonstop → about 10.5 million songs
1.89 billion seconds
Counting 1 number per second, it would take you the full 60 years to reach it
Equivalent to about 21,915 full 24-hour days
Up to this point in my life, I’ve never really thought about my mortality—age was just another number to me, and I drifted through the years without counting them as they passed.
But this birthday… this one feels different.
For the first time in my life, it’s really been playing on my mind. For the first time, I find myself wondering how long I’ve got left—and what my legacy will be.
If I’m lucky, I suppose I could have another 15 or 20 years ahead of me. But when I think about how I’ve treated my body over the years—the smoking, the drinking, the drugs , the stress—I can’t help but wonder if I’ll make it much beyond 80.
It’s one of those pivotal moments in life—new pages along your journey where you stop and take stock. Moments like the birth of your children, getting married, and the loss of loved ones who are no longer with us.
I find myself looking back at what I’ve achieved, weighing it all up, and at the same time looking forward… wondering what the future might still hold and how long I have left.
But putting all those negative thoughts aside, I am looking forward to my birthday party in Belfast—having all those I love and cherish most in the world gathered to celebrate my coming of age.
We are all getting older, and time keeps slipping into the future , whether we like it or not. And to be honest, I wasn’t even sure if I wanted a big celebration. The thought of Jean not being there weighs heavily on my mind.
Her passing left a hole in my heart and soul that can never truly be filled, no matter how much time passes.
.
And yet, I know—deep down—that she wouldn’t want me to shrink away from life or let the sadness and grief overshadow everything else. She’d want me to celebrate, to laugh, to bring people together the way she always did. She’d want me to mark the occasion, not fear it.
And that’s exactly what I intend to do—celebrate not just my life, but the life I’ve shared with my children , siblings and wider family, and the unconditional love that has carried us through everything and still binds us together today.
FFS , Ive gone and depressed myself talking about Jean , and I wanted to end on a positive note. I’m away to have a beer and shake of the blues.
UK Number Ones in 1966
The Kinks Sunny Afternoon was number one on the day I was born which might explain why i love them so much. The Beatles Paperback Writerand many other choons I love also dominated the charts at the time
Come back soon as I will be updating this post with more details on my hopes and dreams for the future and upcoming trip to Belfast and my birthday celebrations.
Date 3rd July 2026 Only thirteen days to go until I hit the big 6-0, and I have to admit I’m getting quite excited about my upcoming trip to Belfast and spending time with the people I love and cherish most in the world. At the same time, I’m feeling a little apprehensive. Reaching such … Continue reading Update: One foot in the Grave – countdown to my 60th Birthday has begun→
Pop culture echoes Trigger warning: ⚠️This post touches on my deep pride and love of my loyalist culture and traditions and if this is not of interest or offends you , please feel free to continue scrolling. Who Do You Think I Am? It’s a question that divides opinion, and I’m acutely aware that many … Continue reading Who do you think I am ?→
Should I Stay or Should I Go ? I’m torn between going or staying . Throughout my time living and working in London and recent years in and around the North West of England it was always my long term intention that when I reached a ripe old age and my kids had settled into … Continue reading Should I Stay or Should I Go – Back to Belfast ?→
Becoming a mod in the early 80s during some of the worst years of the Troubles was a life shaping moment for me and for the first time ever I began moving away from the paramilitary run clubs and discos of my youth and meeting and socialising with my catholic counterparts in the city centre … Continue reading Belfast Mods – In the 80s we give Peace a chance !→
This is simply the story of a boy trying to grow up, survive, thrive, have fun & discover himself against a backdrop of events that might best be described as ‘explosive’, captivating & shocking the world for thirty long years.
“I Don’t Like Mondays” is a song by the Irish new wave band the Boomtown Rats about the Cleveland Elementary School shooting in San Diego. It was released in 1979 as the lead single from their third studio album, The Fine Art of Surfacing. The song was a number-one single in the UK singles chart for four weeks during the summer of 1979, and ranks as the sixth-biggest hit of the UK in 1979.
Written by Bob Geldof and Johnnie Fingers, the piano ballad was the band’s second single to reach number one on the UK chart.
Behind The Vinyl: Bob Geldof “I Don’t Like Mondays”
To be honest I’ve never really been a massive fan of the Boomtown Rats, but they’ve produced a few memorable choons back in the day ( Rat Trap), and I Don’t Like Mondays is definitely my favourite. I love the soft piano intro, it pulls me in straight away and keeps me hooked. The way the song keeps building into something much darker makes it feel way more intense and powerful as it goes on, and the subject matter of the song just adds to that uneasy, emotional vibe which really makes it stand out.
Lyrics
“I Don’t Like Mondays”
The silicon chip inside her head Gets switched to overload And nobody’s gonna go to school today She’s going to make them stay at home
And daddy doesn’t understand it He always said she was as good as gold And he can see no reason ’cause there are no reasons What reason do you need to be shown?
(Tell me why) I don’t like Mondays (Tell me why) I don’t like Mondays (Tell me why) I don’t like Mondays I wanna shoot
The whole day down
The telex machine is kept so clean And it types to a waiting world Her mother feels so shocked, father’s world is rocked And their thoughts turn to their own little girl
Sweet 16 ain’t that peachy keen No, it ain’t so neat to admit defeat They can see no reasons ’cause there are no reasons What reason do you need, oh, ohoho
(Tell me why) I don’t like Mondays (Tell me why) I don’t like Mondays (Tell me why) I don’t like Mondays I wanna shoot
The whole day down, down, down Shoot it all down
And all the playing’s stopped in the playground now She wants to play with the toys a while And school’s out early and soon we be learning And the lesson today is how to die
And then the bullhorn crackles and the captain tackles With the problems and the hows and whys And he can see no reasons ’cause there are no reasons What reason do you need to die, die, ohoho
And the silicon chip inside her head Gets switched to overload, oh And nobody’s gonna go to school today She’s going to make them stay at home
And daddy doesn’t understand it He always said she was as good as gold And he can see no reason ’cause there are no reasons What reason do you need to be shown?
(Tell me why) I don’t like Mondays (Tell me why) I don’t like Mondays (Tell me why) I don’t like, I don’t like (Tell me why) I don’t like Mondays
Tell me why I don’t like, I don’t like (Tell me why) I don’t like Mondays Tell me why I don’t like Mondays I wanna shoot
The whole day down (Ooohooohooo, ooohooohooo Ooohooohooo)
Background and writing
Brenda Ann Spencer
According to Geldof, he wrote the song after reading a telex report at Georgia State University’s campus radio station, WRAS, on the shooting spree of 16-year-old Brenda Ann Spencer, who fired from her bedroom window at children in a school playground at Grover Cleveland Elementary School in San Diego, California, on 29 January 1979, killing two adults and injuring eight children and one police officer. Spencer showed no remorse for her crime; her explanation for her actions was:
“I don’t like Mondays. This livens up the day”
.Her flippant response attracted media attention and inspired the song. Geldof had been contacted by Steve Jobs to play a gig for Apple, inspiring the opening line about a “silicon chip”. The song was first performed less than a month later.
Geldof explained how he wrote the song:
I was doing a radio interview in Atlanta with Johnnie Fingers and there was a telex machine beside me. I read it as it came out. Not liking Mondays as a reason for doing somebody in is a bit strange. I was thinking about it on the way back to the hotel and I just said ‘silicon chip inside her head had switched to overload’.
I wrote that down. And the journalists interviewing her said, ‘Tell me why?’ It was such a senseless act. It was the perfect senseless act and this was the perfect senseless reason for doing it. So perhaps I wrote the perfect senseless song to illustrate it.
It wasn’t an attempt to exploit tragedy.
The cheerful music is deliberate
One of the most striking things:
The song sounds almost upbeat and melodic
But the subject is extremely dark
That contrast is intentional:
It mirrors how shocking the real quote was
A horrific act paired with a casual, almost trivial explanation
Geldof had originally intended the song as a B-side, but changed his mind after the song was successful with audiences on the Rats’ US tour. Spencer’s family tried to prevent the single from being released in the United States, but were unsuccessful.
In later years, Geldof stated that he regretted writing the song because he “made Brenda Spencer famous”.
In 2019, Geldof and Fingers reached an agreement in their dispute over who wrote the song, until then credited solely to Geldof. Fingers received a financial settlement and co-credit.
Released on 13 July 1979, the song reached number one in the United Kingdom, Ireland, Australia and South Africa, and the top 10 in several other countries. It was less successful in the US, reaching only number 73 on the Billboard Hot 100.
In 1994, the song was re-released to promote the greatest hits album Loudmouth. It then peaked at number 38 on the UK singles chart.
In the UK, the song won the Best Pop Song and Outstanding British Lyric categories at the Ivor Novello Awards.
See here for more details :
Brenda Ann Spencer & Cleveland Elementary School shooting
The story behind“I Don’t Like Mondays” by The Boomtown Rats is much darker than most people realise — it’s not really about disliking the start of the week at all. It comes from a real-life tragedy, and the meaning of the song is tied to the unsettling idea of senseless violence with no clear reason.
The shooting took place on January 29, 1979, at Grover Cleveland Elementary School in San Diego, California, United States] This is considered the first mass shooting at an elementary school in United States history.
Principal Burton Wragg and custodian Mike Suchar
Burton Wragg, age 53, the school principal, who had stepped outside to help children get to safety
Mike Suchar, age 56, the school custodian
The principal Burton Wragg and the custodian Mike Suchar were killed; eight children and a police officer were wounded. Brenda Spencer, a 16-year-old girl who lived in a house across the street from the school, was convicted of the shootings. Charged as an adult, she pleaded guilty to two counts of murder and assault with a deadly weapon and was sentenced to life in prison with a chance of parole after 25 years. As of 2026, she is still in prison.
While police surrounded the house, a journalist called her and asked a simple question:
“Why did you do it?”
Her answer was chillingly casual:
“I don’t like Mondays. This livens up the day.”
That line shocked people worldwide — not just because of what happened, but because of how empty and random the reason sounded.
The shooting
On the morning of Monday, January 29, 1979, Spencer began shooting from her house at children across the street who were waiting for 53-year-old Principal Burton Wragg to open the gates to Grover Cleveland Elementary.[4] She injured eight children. She first shot nine-year-old Cam Miller, who said he believed it was because he was wearing blue, which he had learned was her favorite color. Spencer shot and killed Wragg as he and teacher Daryl Barnes tried to help children. She fatally shot 56-year-old custodian Mike Suchar as he tried to pull a student to safety. A 28-year-old police officer, Robert Robb, had responded to a call for assistance and she shot and wounded him in the neck as he arrived.
Robb prevented further casualties by moving a garbage truck in front of the school entrance to obstruct her line of fire.
After firing thirty-six times, Spencer barricaded herself inside her home for several hours. She spoke by telephone to a reporter from The Evening Tribune, who had been calling random telephone numbers in the neighborhood. Spencer told the reporter she had shot at the school children and adults because, “I don’t like Mondays. This livens up the day.”
She told police negotiators that the children and adults whom she had shot were easy targets and that she was going to “come out shooting”.
She surrendered and left the house after being promised a Burger King meal by negotiators.
Brenda Ann Spencer background and family life
Brenda Ann Spencer (born April 3, 1962) was born to Dorothy Nadine (née Hobel) and Wallace Edward Spencer. They married on December 12, 1954, in Chula Vista and had three children. Brenda was the youngest. In January 1972, after Dorothy found out her husband had been cheating on her with multiple women, she filed for divorce.
After her parents separated, Brenda allegedly lived in poverty with her father. Both father and daughter slept on a single mattress on the living room floor, in a house strewn with empty bottles of alcohol.
At later parole hearings, she claimed to have been subject to “total neglect” from her mother and sexual abuse from her father. The accusations have been disputed by the respective parents. At the time, she lived in a house across the street from the school. Aged 16 at the time of the shooting, she was 5’2″ (157 cm) and very thin, and had bright red hair.
Acquaintances said Spencer expressed hostility toward police officers, had spoken about shooting one, and had talked of doing something big to get on television. Although Spencer showed ability as a photographer, winning first place in a Humane Society competition, she was generally uninterested in school. She attended Patrick Henry High School, where one teacher recalled frequently inquiring if she was awake in class. Later, during tests while she was in custody, it was discovered that Spencer had an injury to one of the temporal lobes of her brain. It was attributed to an accident on her bicycle.
Spencer described herself as a “radical” and referred to police officers as “pigs,” exclaiming “All right!” when seeing news on TV about police officers being killed. She often talked about wanting to kill police officers or “blow them away.”[ Some classmates described her as “crazy” and reported being scared of her.
In early 1978, staff at a facility for problem students, into which Spencer had been referred for truancy, informed her parents that she was suicidal. That summer, Spencer, who was known to hunt birds in the neighborhood, was arrested for shooting out the windows of Grover Cleveland Elementary with a BB gun and for burglary. Police reports and eyewitnesses do not mention the use of a BB gun during the school vandalism.
In December 1978, while she was still on probation for breaking into the school, a psychiatric evaluation arranged by her probation officer recommended that Spencer be admitted to a mental hospital for depression. Her father refused to give permission. For Christmas 1978, he gave her a Ruger 10/22 semi-automatic .22 caliber rifle with a telescopic sight and 500 rounds of ammunition.
Spencer later said, “I asked for a radio and got a rifle.” Asked why he had done that, she answered:
“He bought the rifle so I would kill myself.”
Analysis
Several 21st century accounts identify the Cleveland Elementary School shooting in San Diego as the earliest recorded elementary school shooting in the United States. The perpetrator, Brenda Spencer, has been described as the first modern high-profile school shooter. According to a 2013 article in the New York Daily News, her actions marked a significant turning point in American history. Given later history of violent acts, Spencer has been referred to as “the mother” of subsequent school shootings, including those at Columbine, Colorado, and Newtown, Connecticut, both committed by teenage males. The number of school shootings has increased markedly since 1979.
San Diego County Deputy District Attorney Richard Sachs noted that Spencer “hurt so many people and had so much to do with starting a deadly trend in America.” In a 2001 statement, Spencer acknowledged the potential influence of her actions on later incidents, remarking, “With every school shooting, I feel I’m partially responsible. What if they got the idea from what I did?”
Imprisonment
Convicted school shooter Brenda Spencer speaks with San Diego’s News 8 – PART 1
Spencer was charged as an adult. She pleaded guilty to two counts of murder and assault with a deadly weapon. On April 4, 1980, a day after her 18th birthday, she was sentenced to concurrent terms of 25 years to life in prison. Nine counts of attempted murder were dismissed. In prison, Spencer was diagnosed with epilepsy and received medication to treat epilepsy and depression. While at California Institution for Women in Chino, she worked repairing electronic equipment.
Under the terms of her sentencing, Spencer became eligible in 1993 for hearings to consider her suitability for parole.
At her first hearing, in 1993, Spencer said she had hoped that police would shoot her, and that she had been a user of alcohol and drugs at the time of the crime. But, results of drug tests done when she was taken into custody were negative. At her 2001 parole hearing, Spencer claimed that her father had been subjecting her to beatings and sexual abuse, but he said the allegations were not true. The parole board chairman said that, because she had not previously told anyone about the allegations, he doubted their veracity.
In 2005, a San Diego deputy district attorney cited an incident of self-harm from four years earlier, when Spencer’s girlfriend was released from jail, as showing that Spencer was psychotic and unfit to be released. Early reports indicated that Spencer had scratched the words “courage” and “pride” into her own skin. Spencer corrected this during her parole hearing; she said the words were “unforgiven” and “alone.”
2020 mugshot of Spencer.
In 2009, the board again refused her application for parole, and ruled it would be ten years before she would be considered again. In August 2022, Spencer and the Board of Parole Hearings agreed that she was not suitable for parole and that she would not be eligible for another hearing for a further three years. In February 2025, she was again denied parole. She remains imprisoned at California Institution for Women in Chino.
Life in prison
Brenda Spencer has spent her entire adult life incarcerated.
She has been held in California state prison since 1979
She grew up, matured, and aged entirely behind bars
Over the years:
Reports suggest she has had disciplinary issues at times
She has taken part in some education and prison programmes (details vary by source)
But importantly: she has never been released.
Parole hearings (and why she remains in prison)
Because of her sentence, she became eligible for parole in the early 1990s (about 25 years after sentencing).
However:
She has applied for parole multiple times
Each request has been denied
Why she keeps being denied parole
Parole boards look at several factors, and in her case:
1. Nature of the crime
It involved children and a public setting
It’s seen as a serious and shocking act
2. Her explanations
At different times, she has given varying reasons for what she did
These sometimes included:
claims of abuse
claims of intoxication
shifting accounts over the years
This inconsistency raises concerns about:
whether she fully understands or takes responsibility
3. Perceived risk
Parole boards assess:
whether someone is likely to reoffend
whether they show remorse and insight
Her case has often been judged as:
not showing enough clear, consistent insight into the crime
Attempts to explain her actions (after the fact)
In later years, Spencer did try to explain what happened more deeply than her original statement.
She has claimed:
she suffered abuse and neglect growing up
she was using alcohol and possibly medication at the time
However:
Some of these claims were disputed or unverified
And they didn’t fully satisfy the authorities reviewing her case
The core issue remains: Even her later explanations don’t fully match the scale or randomness of the act.
Where things stand today
Brenda Ann Spencer remains in prison to this day
She continues to be eligible for future parole hearings, but release is uncertain
If you want, I can explain how this case influenced public awareness of school violence or how it compares to later cases.
Here’s a clear summary of Brenda Ann Spencer’s parole history, based only on what the sources explicitly confirm.
Parole hearing history (summary)
📅 Eligibility
Spencer was sentenced to life with the possibility of parole after 25 years
That made her eligible for her first parole hearings starting in the early 1990s (25 years after 1979)
❌ Repeated denials
She has applied for parole multiple times over several decades
Each time, parole has been denied
🧾 Current status
As of the most recent information available today
She remains in prison
She is still eligible for future parole hearings
Patterns in parole outcomes (from reported information)
While detailed parole transcripts aren’t always public, sources consistently point to:
Ongoing concerns about the seriousness of the crime
Questions about her explanations and insight (her reasons have changed over time)
The need for demonstrable remorse and understanding, which parole boards assess
One‑sentence takeaway
👉 Brenda Ann Spencer has been eligible for parole for decades but has never been granted release, and she remains incarcerated today.
Her next opportunity for a parole hearing will be in 2028.
Aftermath
A plaque and flagpole were erected at Cleveland Elementary in memory of the shooting victims. Due to declining enrollment, the school was closed in 1983, along with a dozen other public schools around the city. In the ensuing decades, it was leased to several charter and private schools. From 2005 to 2017, it housed the Magnolia Science Academy, a public charter middle school serving students in grades 6–8.
memorial plaque honoring Burton Wragg and Mike Suchar
The school board decided to sell the school because of budget issues. In 2018, the building was demolished by the new owner and the site was redeveloped for housing. The memorial plaque was relocated to the southern edge of the former school site, at the corner of Lake Atlin Avenue and Lake Angela Drive.
Spencer and her family
In the months following the shooting, one of Brenda Spencer’s first cellmates at the juvenile facility was released. The 17-year-old girl moved in with Spencer’s father, whom she’d met through his visits to Brenda. They later married on March 26, 1980, in Yuma, Arizona. They had a daughter together, after which she fled the household and eventually divorced her estranged husband.She left Wallace Spencer to raise the girl alone.
Wallace Spencer died in February 2016.
Survivors
On January 17, 1989, almost ten years after the shooting, there was a shooting at a school in Stockton, California. Coincidentally it was also named Grover Cleveland Elementary. Five students were killed and thirty injured. Christy Buell, a survivor of the 1979 shooting, was “shocked, saddened, horrified” by the headlines concerning the incident.
Bon Jovi & Bob Geldof – I Don’t Like Mondays (London 2010)
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This is simply the story of a boy trying to grow up, survive, thrive, have fun & discover himself against a backdrop of events that might best be described as ‘explosive’, captivating & shocking the world for thirty long years.
I Don’t Like Mondays The Boomtown Rats 13 July 1979 Iconic Songs & the story behind them “I Don’t Like Mondays” is a song by the Irish new wave band the Boomtown Rats about the Cleveland Elementary School shooting in San Diego. It was released in 1979 as the lead single from their third studio album, The Fine Art of Surfacing. The song was a number-one … Continue reading I Don’t Like Mondays – the Boomtown Rats: Iconic Songs & the story behind them→
Lola – The Kinks : Iconic Songs Iconic Songs and the story behind them “Lola” is a song written by Ray Davies and performed by English rock band the Kinks on their album Lola Versus Powerman and the Moneygoround, Part One. The song details a romantic encounter between a young man and a possible cross-dresser, whom he meets in a club in Soho, London. … Continue reading Lola – The Kinks : Iconic Songs & the story behind them→
Love Will Tear Us Apart Joy Division June 1980 Iconic Songs & the story behind them “Love Will Tear Us Apart” is a song by English rock band Joy Division, released in June 1980. Its lyrics were inspired by lead singer Ian Curtis‘ marriage problems and frame of mind before his suicide in May 1980 Recording Joy Division first … Continue reading Love Will Tear Us Apart – Joy Division: Iconic Songs & the story behind them→
The Jam That’s Entertainment January 1981 The Jam : Iconic Songs & the story behind them “That’s Entertainment” is a 1980 song by British punk–mod revivalist group the Jam from their fifth album, Sound Affects. Although never released as a domestic single in the UK during the band’s lifetime, “That’s Entertainment” nonetheless charted as an import single (backed by a … Continue reading That’s Entertainment -The Jam : Iconic Songs & the story behind them→
Small Faces TIN SOLDIER 2nd December 1967 Tin Soldier – Small Faces : Iconic Songs & the story behind them “Tin Soldier” is a song released by the English rock band Small Faces on 2 December 1967, written by Steve Marriott (credited to Marriott/Lane). The song peaked at number nine in the UK singles chart and number 38 in Canada. It has since … Continue reading Tin Soldier – Small Faces : Iconic Songs & the story behind them→
Going Underground – The Jam The Jam Going Underground March 1980 Going Underground – The Jam: Iconic Songs & the story behind them “Going Underground” is the first British #1 chart single by The Jam, released in March 1980. It went straight in at #1 in the UK Singles Chart, spending three weeks at the top. It was the first … Continue reading Going Underground – The Jam: Iconic Songs & the story behind them→
The Stranglers Golden Brown January 1982 Golden Brown – The Stranglers: Iconic Songs & the story behind them Golden Brown – The Stranglers “Golden Brown” is a song by the English rock band the Stranglers. It was released as a 7″ single in December 1981 in the United States and in January 1982 in the United … Continue reading Golden Brown – The Stranglers: Iconic Songs & the story behind them→
⚠️This post touches on my deep pride and love of my loyalist culture and traditions and if this is not of interest or offends you , please feel free to continue scrolling.
Who Do You Think I Am?
It’s a question that divides opinion, and I’m acutely aware that many people’s first impressions of me are shaped by their political, religious, or cultural background. Those impressions are also influenced by the way my life story has been portrayed in my book and across mainstream and social media. I make no secret of my deep and abiding love for my loyalist culture and background. I know that is a deeply polarising issue, but in my experience, most people I take the time to engage with show me the same respect I give them.
The simplest answer, of course, is that I’m John Chambers. But depending on who the question is aimed at , I can be seen in very different ways:
To some, I’m the bloke who wrote the bestselling book A Belfast Child.
To others, I’m that loyalist fella who appeared in Once Upon a Time in Northern Ireland.
To republican fanboys and haters, I’m an orange bastard, a planter, a bigot, a racist, a neo-Nazi, they know nothing!
To many who follow me on X and through my website, I’m a blogger who shares interesting content, epic music, and random banter whenever the mood takes me—often fuelled by copious amounts of alcohol and the occasional spliff.
To my family and close friends, I’m Stephen
But anyone who takes the time to know me properly will find there is far more to me than the stereotype of a Belfast loyalist with a love of music and popular culture.
What lays beneath
Beneath that exterior, I’m passionate about social justice and deeply curious about history, politics, current affairs, science, and much more. I thrive on deep, meaningful conversation. There are many layers to my character that are not obvious to the casual—or biased—observer. If I’m honest, I see myself as one of the good guys: someone with a deep, and at times painful, empathy for people who have been dealt a hard hand by fate, as I was in my younger years. If you’ve read my book you’ll understand that statement .
Can You See the Real Me?
Although I was christened John Stephen Chambers, after my da and grandda, I’ve always been known as Stephen—with a P—by my family, friends, and the tribal community I grew up in, for reasons lost in the corridors of time.
Throughout my life, I’ve been known by many different names. At times, that caused confusion with official documents and introductions and led to mix-ups at school or later when I entered the job market and had to produce my National Insurance number or passport. Still, the variety of names has added a distinctive twist to my story, making my personal history even more interesting—if occasionally complicated.
The Names That Shaped Me ?
A Boy Named Sue
Apparently, it’s quite common across the UK and Ireland to be known by a middle name, and to be honest I never gave it much thought until I was older and had to show official ID as I entered the adult world. To add to the confusion, I have a younger cousin also called Steven (Pickle), so within the family and community we became Big Stephen and Little Steven. As a child, my family nick name was Big Bird—not because I was yellow, but because I was tall—and, to my bemusement and annoyance, some of my cousins still call me that. Yes, Linda, I’m looking at you.
Mostly, though, my family call me Our Stephen, and I’m perfectly happy with that.
Jay and myself
One of my childhood friends and closest mates, Belfast mod legend Jay McFall, has always called me simply Chambers, and has done so since we were kids growing up in the crazy 80s. I’ve no idea why. Later, when I became a mod and started spending time in the pubs and clubs in the city centre and beyond, most people on the scene called me Chambers too. It became just another name added to the long list I’d collected throughout my life, along with all the bemusement and occasional bewilderment that came with it.
Honouring My Da
As I grew older and wiser, I came to embrace my official name, John Chambers—not just as the name on official documents, but as a way of honouring my da and keeping his memory alive. Over time, it became more than a formality. It became a small but meaningful connection to where I come from and to the man whose name I carry—someone I have missed every day since he died fifty years ago.
To carry on that legacy, I named my son Jude John Chambers, and my brother David did the same with his son, John Chambers , know as Johnny .
My dad’s name will live on. Perhaps one day, when I am dust and long gone, a distant descendant tracing our family history will come across my book or this blog post and, for a moment, feel they have found me. Perhaps through these words they will come to know the real me, and understand not only who I was, but where I came from and what mattered most to me.
By my late teens, I had grown weary of Belfast and the chaos that shaped my daily life, so I made the life-changing decision to move to London and start over. There were many reasons for leaving, but at the heart of it was a deep unhappiness with the life I was living and a profound despair at the unending violence and brutality that surrounded me—and Belfast more generally.
I was living in the heartlands of loyalist Ulster, and there was no escaping the sectarian madness that ruled and ruined our daily lives. By then, I had started mixing with and dating Catholics, and that opened up an entirely new universe to me—one that had previously been out of bounds.
That may be difficult for people outside that world to fully understand, but throughout my childhood and teens I had been segregated from my Catholic counterparts. Apart from those I met during my many childhood hospital stays, I had never really socialised with Catholics or had Catholic friends.
I was on a voyage of discovery, and Belfast had become too small for me. So I packed my bags and my dreams, boarded a plane for the first time, and stepped into a new and exciting chapter of my life—a never-ending party fuelled by alcohol and drugs.
Date 3rd July 2026 Only thirteen days to go until I hit the big 6-0, and I have to admit I’m getting quite excited about my upcoming trip to Belfast and spending time with the people I love and cherish most in the world. At the same time, I’m feeling a little apprehensive. Reaching such … Continue reading Update: One foot in the Grave – countdown to my 60th Birthday has begun→
Pop culture echoes Trigger warning: ⚠️This post touches on my deep pride and love of my loyalist culture and traditions and if this is not of interest or offends you , please feel free to continue scrolling. Who Do You Think I Am? It’s a question that divides opinion, and I’m acutely aware that many … Continue reading Who do you think I am ?→
Should I Stay or Should I Go ? I’m torn between going or staying . Throughout my time living and working in London and recent years in and around the North West of England it was always my long term intention that when I reached a ripe old age and my kids had settled into … Continue reading Should I Stay or Should I Go – Back to Belfast ?→
Becoming a mod in the early 80s during some of the worst years of the Troubles was a life shaping moment for me and for the first time ever I began moving away from the paramilitary run clubs and discos of my youth and meeting and socialising with my catholic counterparts in the city centre … Continue reading Belfast Mods – In the 80s we give Peace a chance !→
This is simply the story of a boy trying to grow up, survive, thrive, have fun & discover himself against a backdrop of events that might best be described as ‘explosive’, captivating & shocking the world for thirty long years.
Please check back soon—I’m still working on this post, and I’ll publish it once it’s finished.
In the meantime, please subscribe to my blog to receive email notifications whenever I publish new content. Thank you.
😏
Hit the button below and surprise me 👍
This is simply the story of a boy trying to grow up, survive, thrive, have fun & discover himself against a backdrop of events that might best be described as ‘explosive’, captivating & shocking the world for thirty long years.
Please check back soon—I’m still working on this post, and I’ll publish it once it’s finished.
In the meantime, please subscribe to my blog to receive email notifications whenever I publish new content. Thank you.
😏
Hit the button below and surprise me 👍
This is simply the story of a boy trying to grow up, survive, thrive, have fun & discover himself against a backdrop of events that might best be described as ‘explosive’, captivating & shocking the world for thirty long years.
Evening all , Im heading home to Belfast tomorrow for the Easter period and hopefully a trip down south to visit my bro and his family in County Meath , depending on a few factors which are out of my control 😜
Belfast will always be my home and although I look forward to visiting and spending time with those I love and cherish to be honest since Jean’s death it has lost some of its magic and nowadays every trip home is tinged with sadness and regret at what I have lost. Every street on the Shankill and surrounding areas holds memories of better times and the ghosts of my past still walk these street and I cant help but feel sadness with them so near.
But enough of this sadness, I intend to have a blast and makes new memories.
Stay tuned because its gonna get messy and if you see me on the road or out and about don’t be afraid to say hello and buy me a pint or six 😜
Just a shortish blog post to wish you all a wonderful evening and a fantastic Xmas day.
Some of you guys have followed me and my story for years now and during recent tragic soul destroying lows to a few joy filled epic highs you have been there to support , comfort and celebrate with me whatever a pernicious fate throws in my path and I am truly grateful.
This year I’ve invited all the family to my place for Xmas dinner and tbh it’s been a logistical (expensive) nightmare trying to accommodate and please everyone. Mother-in-law is a pure traditionalist and in what I suspected was a threatening tone kept informing me she is really looking forward to her turkey dinner with all the trimmings.
Simone, the kids and myself aren’t particularly fond of turkey and have been debating among ourselves whether we should just buy a giant chicken and hope mother-in-law wouldn’t notice. Obviously, there’s a tout among us and my monies on Simone or Autumn telling mother-in-law of the conspiracy to fool her with a giant chicken.
So, turkey is back on the menu !
We discussed what everyone else preferred for mains and of course that wasn’t plain sailing either. Autumn wanted gammon, I wanted lamb , Simone wasn’t fussed and Jude demanded chicken because he hates turkey and it would ruin his day if he didn’t have a turkey substitute on his Xmas plate. I helpfully suggested we held a democratic vote to decide which meats to go for and to my shock and surprise they all decided I wasn’t part of their democratic voting circle and I was out of the equation. Brutal. By this stage I’d had enough, and I threw the towel in and ended up buying everything, including a small chicken.
For starters we’re having tiger prawns , pate & rustic rolls and salmon with pomegranate glaze , something we al agreed to to keep everyone happy – phew.
Anyways Jude and autumn are helping with Xmas dinner and despite all the stress I’m looking forward to spending some quality time with them all and after dinner we’ll play some games and watch a little telly.
Perfect!
Ill finish by wishing you and all those you love and cherish a safe and wonderful time this Xmas and may Santa bring you all you hope for.
God bless you all as we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ
Last chance to order before Xmas delivery cut-off period nxt Wednesday .
A personally signed copy of my No.1 Best Selling book : A Belfast Child , which may be worth a few quid if my story is made into a movie – watch this space !
UK Orders
Free postage for UK orders only !
For Europe & USA orders drop me a message below and Ill send you an payment link !
Ive doing a soft launch of my online shop : https://deadongifts.co.uk/ which I set up with my sister Mags and I need to drive some traffic to the store and start creating an online presence.
The shop will be mainly selling and promoting Northern Ireland themed gifts and souvenirs but as lifelong Jam fan and mod I cant help but add some designs and products based on my love of all things mod , the music, style and the culture I love it all .
We are currently still loading products and tweaking the website and this will be an ongoing process over the coming days and weeks. But feel free to have a nosey and buy anything that takes your fancy.
Now to the point of this exercise…
Ill be giving away 2 x £15 gift tokens to spend in the shop and/or two signed copy of my No.1 Best selling book: A Belfast Child in a a random draw of everyone who visits the shop and signed up for & subscribes to our emails alaerts . Dont panic we wont be sending you loads of promo sh*t just the occasional newsletter and updates on the shop and my crazy life .
Just visit the shop and sign up here : Dead On Gifts
Check out some of our current stock below .
Clock the image to visit page.
MaleT -Shirts
FemaleT -Shirts
Belfast Slang Socks
Mugs & Cold Cups
Keyrings
Hats
Candles
That’s all for now folks , don’t forget to visit the store and sign up for our email alerts to be in with a chance of winning in our raffle , Ill announce the winners next weekend .
Date 3rd July 2026 Only thirteen days to go until I hit the big 6-0, and I have to admit I’m getting quite excited about my upcoming trip to Belfast and spending time with the people I love and cherish most in the world. At the same time, I’m feeling a little apprehensive. Reaching such … Continue reading Update: One foot in the Grave – countdown to my 60th Birthday has begun
Pop culture echoes Trigger warning: ⚠️This post touches on my deep pride and love of my loyalist culture and traditions and if this is not of interest or offends you , please feel free to continue scrolling. Who Do You Think I Am? It’s a question that divides opinion, and I’m acutely aware that many … Continue reading Who do you think I am ?
Should I Stay or Should I Go ? I’m torn between going or staying . Throughout my time living and working in London and recent years in and around the North West of England it was always my long term intention that when I reached a ripe old age and my kids had settled into … Continue reading Should I Stay or Should I Go – Back to Belfast ?
Becoming a mod in the early 80s during some of the worst years of the Troubles was a life shaping moment for me and for the first time ever I began moving away from the paramilitary run clubs and discos of my youth and meeting and socialising with my catholic counterparts in the city centre … Continue reading Belfast Mods – In the 80s we give Peace a chance !
