As I’ve said, the spell in gaol was towards the end of a long period of joyriding, shoplifting and drug-taking, some of which I was lifted for, many others that I got away with. In the 1980s, stealing cars and joyriding was almost a full-time occupation for many of Northern Ireland’s teenage males, especially in the Loyalist and Republican-controlled ghettos. There was always a danger that an untrained driver would crash, accidentally or deliberately, into an army checkpoint and be shot dead, and this happened on multiple occasions during the Troubles. I wasn’t confident enough to drive, but I was a regular passenger in cars that had been stolen by my mates in Belfast city centre and driven at high-speed back up to Glencairn, where they’d be burned out.
This was the scenario one such Saturday night, when we jacked a car just for the hell of it. The experts could be in there with the engine started in five seconds flat, and there was little chance of being caught red-handed. We belted up the Crumlin Road, not bothering ourselves with red lights or pedestrian crossings, and celebrated reaching our home turf with a screeching handbrake turn, perfect in every technical sense except that it ended with a side-on smash into a nice new Opel Ascona car parked on the other side of the road.
None of us were hurt, but as we stared at the damage we’d inflicted on the Ascona we realised we’d committed a crime that could see us all shivering in fear as, one-by-one, our kneecaps were removed by a bullet from a Browning pistol. The car we’d just hit belonged to a top UDA man, a guy known to all of us as a character who took no nonsense, especially from a gang of hoods. Sensibly, we bolted from the car and ran as fast as our legs could take us.
Unfortunately, Glencairn is a small place and word quickly reached the UDA as to the identity of the joyriders. The following day we all received the inevitable summons to the community centre, where the paramilitaries were waiting. To say we were shitting it is an understatement.
‘Don’t even fuckin’ think of denying it!’ screamed the enraged commander, when we tried to do just that. ‘If youse think you’re gonna get away with this, youse are more stupid that ye look!’
With that, he pulled a pistol from his waistband. A couple of our gang started to cry. I could feel my balls disappearing into my stomach as I thought about the prospect of hobbling around the estate for the rest of my life.
‘Now,’ he said, brandishing the pistol in our faces, ‘did ye smash my car up or didn’t ye?’
Miserably, we nodded in unison. Our fate was sealed. Whatever happened to us next, we’d just have to accept. It was simply part and parcel of life in Loyalist West Belfast back then.
The commander looked us up and down, this group of shuffling, shaking, sniffling boys. Perhaps something about our pathetic appearance softened his heart. Maybe he realised that we’d not meant to do what we did, that it was an accident that only affected him personally, not the Loyalist movement as a whole.
‘Here’s what’s going to happen,’ he said, after watching us sweat for a minute or so. ‘I’m going to buy a new car, and every Saturday youse are gonna come up to my house and clean it inside and out. And if it’s still dirty, you’ll start all over again. You got that?’
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. He was letting us off! Well, not quite, but washing a car was a whole sight easier than walking with a missing kneecap. We glanced at each other in shock, barely suppressing our smiles of relief, – until the commander banged his fist on a table.
‘And if I ever catch youse joyriding again,’ he said in a menacingly low tone, ‘there’ll be no question of what will happen to you. Got that?!’
We trooped out like a gang of monkeys released from a cage. And two Saturdays later we were at the commander’s house armed with buckets, sponges and cleaning liquid. After we finished, his was the shiniest car on the estate.
You have been reading extracts from my No.1 Bestselling book. If you’d like a signed copy see below. Ive got a special offer on this weekend . Only £10.00 plus free postage –
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I have a box of these gathering dust I need to shift them
I need to chill , the daily grind of everyday life gets a little boring sometimes , esp after 53 years of many crazy highs and at times epic lows .But I’ve got to be grateful for what I have. I know my life although far from perfect is much better than many others . Thank god for small mercies.
Hospital appointment tomorrow morning for over active thyroid , I ain’t complaining about it but my god I didn’t even know it was a thing until they found I had it after some blood tests. I knew there was something not quite right , but took ages to diagnose. Caused me loads of problems , mostly with my eyes which is kind of scary ,chronic tiredness , weight …..
Wifey going to Goa on Friday to teach yoga and go to a yoga retreat. I was invited along but not my kind of thing,. To be sure I like the philosophy of it all , just not bendy enough to do most of the moves. Might take up tai chi , that’s more my style. hee he.
She’s away for nine days so I’ll be in charge of the kids, two cats , one with only three legs and two very nervous goldfish. Hope I don’t drink myself to death. I wonder if she’ll make me a curry before she goes.. Hmmmm…
Wondering if I can be arsed joining the local astronomy club , or should I wait until spring/summer ? Star gazing is something I really enjoy, I have a telescope and all the equipment , but when no one else in the family is interested in sitting in the garden in the middle of winter in the dark and cold it can become quite a lonely venture. .Tried to get son interested, but he’s a teenager now, thinks he’s a gangster and hates me at least five times a day at the mo.
Wondering if that big asteroid gonna destroy the Earth and when we’ll ever hear the end of the harry and Meghan debate. Snzzzz……….
Worried and anxious about my forthcoming book , its a massive thing for me and I’m about to go down the rabbit hole and have no idea what I’ll find down there.
Considering if it would be a good idea to have a gin.
And finally Im testing out some new features on my blog and wanted to see how they all worked and looked , hence this boring post!
My autobiography: A Belfast Child is now available to pre-order on Amazon , launch date is 30th April.
Key Events & Deaths on this day in Northern Ireland Troubles
14th May
————————————-
Sunday 14 May 1972
Martha Campbell
A 13 year old Catholic girl was shot dead by Loyalist paramilitaries in Ballymurphy, Belfast.
Monday 14 May 1973
Martin McGuinness was released from prison in the Republic of Ireland having served a six months sentence.
Tuesday 14 May 1974
Beginning of the Ulster Workers Council Strike
There was a debate in the Northern Ireland Assembly on a motion condemning power-sharing and the Council of Ireland. The motion was defeated by 44 votes to 28. At 6.00pm, following the conclusion of the Assembly debate, Harry Murray announced to a group of journalists that a general strike was to start the following day.
The organisation named as being responsible for calling the strike was the Ulster Workers’ Council (UWC). The action was to become known as the UWC Strike. The Ulster Volunteer Force (UVF) and Sinn Féin (SF) were declared legal following the passing of legislation at Westminster.
Saturday 14 May 1977
Robert Nairac (29), a member of the British Army, was abducted by the Irish Republican Army (IRA) outside the Three Step Inn, near Forkhill, County Armagh.
His body was never recovered and he was presumed dead. He is listed as one of the ‘disappeared’.
[The IRA later stated that they had interrogated and killed a Special Air Service (SAS) officer. Nairac was posthumously awarded the George Cross.]
Brendan McLaughlin, an Irish Republican Army (IRA) prisoner in the Maze Prison, joined the hunger strike to replace Francis Hughes who had died on 12 May 1981.
[McLaughlin was taken off the strike on 26 May 1981 when he suffered a perforated ulcer and internal bleeding.]
Wednesday 14 May 1986
The pressure group ‘Campaign for Equal Citizenship‘ was established at a meeting in Belfast. The CEC argued that British political parties, such as the Labour and Conservative, should organise and stand for election in Northern Ireland. The CEC was also in favour of the full administrative integration of Northern Ireland into the United Kingdom
Saturday 14 May 1994
David Wilson (27), a British Army (BA) soldier, was killed by the Irish Republican Army (IRA) during a bomb attack on a permanent Vehicle Checkpoint, Castleblaney Road, Keady, County Armagh.
Sunday 14 May 1995
The Sunday Business Post (a Dublin based newspaper) published a report of an interview with Peter Temple-Morris, then co-chairman of the British-Irish Interparliamentary Body. He expressed the view that Republican frustration with the lack of progress on all-party talks might lead to an end of the Irish Republican Army (IRA) ceasefire.
Wednesday 14 May 1997
Gunmen tried to kill a taxi driver in Milford village, County Armagh.
The attempt failed when the gun jammed. The Loyalist Volunteer Force (LVF) was believed to be responsible for the attack.
Betty Boothroyd, then Speaker of the House of Commons, ruled that the two Sinn Féin (SF) MPs would not be given office facilities at Westminster because they had refused to take their seats in the House.
In the Queen’s speech setting out the Labour governments legislative plans it was announced that the North Report on parades and marches would be implemented in 1998. In addition the European Convention on Human Rights would be incorporated into forthcoming legislation on Northern Ireland.
Thursday 14 May 1998
Tony Blair, then British Prime Minister, paid another visit to Northern Ireland to continue campaigning for a ‘Yes’ vote in the referendum. During his visit he delivered a key note speech.
Friday 14 May 1999
There were further political talks in London involving the two Prime Ministers and the leaders of the Ulster Unionist Party (UUP), the Social Democratic and Labour Party (SDLP), and Sinn Féin (SF). Before the meeting Gerry Adams, then President of Sinn Féin (SF) expressed concern about the state of the ceasefires of the main Loyalist paramilitary groups.
He claimed that the Loyalist Volunteer Force (LVF) had co-operated with other Loyalist groups in carrying out attacks on Catholic homes.
At the meeting Tony Blair, then British Prime Minister, announced an “absolute” deadline of 30 June 1999 for the formation of an Executive and the devolution of power to the Northern Ireland Assembly. Proposals put before the parties were thought to have been agreed by, David Trimble, then leader of the Ulster Unionist Party (UUP), the Irish Government, the Social Democratic and Labour Party (SDLP), and Sinn Féin (SF).
[However the UUP Assembly party failed to endorse the proposals. The proposals would have seen the d’Hondt procedure for the appointment of ministers in a power-sharing executive triggered in the coming week, with full devolution achieved by the end of June, following a report on “progress” on decommissioning by Gen. John de Chastelain.]
Sunday 14 May 2000
Cyril Ramaphosa, former secretary-general of the African National Congress (ANC), and Martti Ahtisaari, former President of Finland, both of whom were appointed as arms inspectors arrived in Northern Ireland. The arms inspectors report to the Independent International Commission on Decommissioning (IICD).
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Remembering all innocent victims of the Troubles
Today is the anniversary of the death of the following people killed as a results of the conflict in Northern Ireland
“To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die
– Thomas Campbell
To the innocent on the list – Your memory will live forever
– To the Paramilitaries –
There are many things worth living for, a few things worth dying for, but nothing worth killing for.
10 People lost their lives on the 14th between 1972 – 1994
———————————————–
14 May 1972
Marta Campbell (13)
Catholic Status: Civilian (Civ),
Killed by: non-specific Loyalist group (LOY)
Shot while walking along Springhill Avenue, Ballymurphy, Belfast.
———————————————–
14 May 1972
John Pedlow (17)
Protestant Status: Civilian (Civ),
Killed by: Irish Republican Army (IRA)
Died one day after being shot during gun battle between Irish Republican Army (IRA) and Loyalists, Springmartin Road, Belfast.
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14 May 1972 Gerard McCusker (24)
Catholic Status: Civilian (Civ),
Killed by: non-specific Loyalist group (LOY)
Found shot on waste ground, Hopeton Street, Shankill, Belfast.
———————————————–
14 May 1973
John McCormac (34)
Catholic Status: Civilian (Civ),
Killed by: Ulster Volunteer Force (UVF)
Died three days after being shot while walking along Raglan Street, Lower Falls, Belfast.
———————————————–
14 May 1973
Roy Rutherford (33)
Protestant Status: Civilian (Civ),
Killed by: Irish Republican Army (IRA)
Killed by booby trap bomb in derelict cottage, Moy Road, Portadown, County Armagh
———————————————–
14 May 1977
Robert Nairac (29)
nfNI Status: British Army (BA),
Killed by: Irish Republican Army (IRA)
Undercover British Army (BA) member. Abducted outside Three Step Inn, near Forkhill, County Armagh. Presumed killed. Body never recovered.
Killed by: non-specific Republican group (REP)
Shot at his workplace, a building site, Ballymagroarty, Derry.
———————————————–
14 May 1981
Samuel Vallely (23)
Protestant Status: Royal Ulster Constabulary (RUC),
Killed by: Irish Republican Army (IRA)
Killed in rocket attack on Royal Ulster Constabulary (RUC) mobile patrol, Springfield Road, Belfast.
———————————————–
14 May 1984 Seamus Fitzsimmons (21)
Cathc Status: Civilian (Civ),
Killed by: Royal Ulster Constabulary (RUC)
Shot by undercover Royal Ulster Constabulary (RUC) members during attempted robbery at Post Office, Ballygalley, near Larne, County Antrim.
———————————————–
14 May 1994 David Wilson (27)
nfNI Status: British Army (BA),
Killed by: Irish Republican Army (IRA)
Killed during bomb attack on British Army (BA) permanent Vehicle Check Point (VCP), Castleblaney Road, Keady, County Armagh.
———————————————–
My autobiography:
A Belfast Child is now available to pre-order on Amazon , launch date now is 3rd September
" he began a turbulent and hedonistic adulthood in London "
Unashamedly Proud of My Loyalist and British Heritage.
In fact I want the world to know that despite what loony lefties and followers of Corbyn think – its perfectly normal to take pride in our country and celebrate and embrace our long and glorious history.
—————————-
Someone emailed me yesterday after visiting my website and praised me for writing about the history of The Troubles and commemorating the memory of all those who had died during the 30 year conflict.
So far – so good!
And then she asked me………..
“Did I hate Catholic’s and what I thought of a United Ireland ?”.
Well at this stage my antenna went up and I thought ” Here we go again “
Let me explain….
When I set up this blog/website last year my primary objective was to promote my Autobiography Belfast Child and hopefully attract some attention from the publishing world and maybe one day see my book printed and share my story with the world.
That was the objective anyways and the process has been long and full of disappointments – but I am now working with high profile ghost writing Tom Henry to complete the book and his enthusiasm for the subject is feeding my dream.
I have always thought I had an interesting story to tell ( I would wouldn’t I ? ) and within weeks of launching the site I was pleasantly surprised to see that I was receiving a lot of visitors and people were commenting on my story. As of yesterday I have had more 100,000 visitors to the site and this figure is growing and increasing weekly by a few thousand and this I must say surprised me.
It had always been my aim to dedicate the book/my story to the memory of all those killed in the Troubles and off course to the memory of my beloved father John Chambers – who died way to young and left a wound in my soul that can never been healed or soothed.
So with this in mind I decided to use my website to tell the story of the Northern Ireland conflict and include an unbiased (mostly) comprehensive history of all major events and deaths in the Troubles. Due to my loyalist heritage and background this has not always been easy, considering I lived through the worst years of the Troubles among the loyalist communities of West Belfast and like those around me I was on the front-line of the sectarian slaughter and there was no escape from the madness that surrounded and engulfed us.
I blamed the IRA ( and other republican terrorists ) for all the woes of life in Belfast and I hated them with a passion – still do.
Growing up as a protestant in Northern Ireland is unlike life in any other part of the UK or British territories and from cradle to grave our lives are governed by the tenuous umbilical cord that reluctantly connects us to the rest of the UK and Westminster’s corridors of power.
Unlike most other communities throughout the UK we are fanatically proud of our Britishness and we have literally fought for the right to remain part of Britain and have Queen Elizabeth II as the mother of our nation.
Long may she reign
If you have read extracts from my Autobiography Belfast Child ( It’s worth it – promise ) you will know that I was raised within the heartlands of loyalist Northern Ireland – The Glorious Shankill Road.
The UDA ( Ulster Defense Force) and other loyalist paramilitaries governed and controlled our daily lives and lived and operated among us. The loyalist community stood as one against the IRA and other republican terrorists and although there was often war between the various different groups , they were untied in their hatred of Republican’s and pride in the Union.
The definition of loyalist is :
a. A supporter of union between Great Britain and Northern Ireland
b. A person who remains loyal to the established ruler or government, especially in the face of a revolt.
—————————————–
Why Ireland split into the Republic of Ireland & Northern Ireland
—————————————–
A bit of history for you
A very brief outlined of the beginning of the modern troubles
Whilst the Protestants’ clung to their British sovereignty and took pride in the union, our Catholic counterparts felt abandoned and second class citizens in a Unionist run state. The civil rights marches of the 60’s & Republican calls for a United Ireland were the catalyst for the IRA and other Republican terrorist groups to take up arms against the British and feed the paranoia of the loyalist community.
Northern Ireland descended into decades of sectarian conflict & slaughter. An attack on the crown was an attack on the Protestant people of the North and the Protestant paramilitaries took up arms and waged an indiscriminate war against the IRA, the Catholic population and each other. Many innocent Catholic’s and Protestant’s became targets of psychopathic sectarian murder squad’s. Murder was almost a daily occurrence and the killings on both sides perpetuated the hatred and mistrust between the two ever-warring communities. It was a recipe for disaster and Northern stood on the brink of all out civil war.
Growing up in this environment it is hardly surprising to learn that I hated republicans and all they stood for. But that doesn’t mean I hated Catholic’s or Irish people and would wish any harm on them – I don’t and I didn’t.
It means I have a different point of view and democracy is all about freedom of choice and my choice is to maintain the Union with the UK and embrace and celebrate my loyalist culture and tradition. It also means I have the right to take pride in the union with the rest of the UK and I wear my nationality like a badge of honor for all the world to see.
————————————–
Jason Mawer has been warned twice to remove his jacket in case it offends someone
The unique Mod-style jacket in red, white and blue was made a few years ago for a Who convention in London
Pub landlord Jason Mawer has twice been asked in public to remove his treasured Union Jack jacket – for risk of it being ‘offensive’.
He was told to take off his valuable Mod-style Barbour jacket – designed in honour of legendary rock band The Who – by officials who appeared to be council enforcement officers.
On the second occasion the female official warned him: ‘Would you mind removing your coat it might offend somebody.’
In recent years it has become almost politically “incorrect” to show any signs of pride in being British and mad lefties and their deluded disciples are always banging on about offending other religions and communities throughout the UK. The fact that the UK has such a diverse melting pot of different nationalities and religions and is generally accommodating to them – is lost on these do gooders and they ignore our country’s long history of religious and politically tolerance and instead accuse us of being xenophobic and this offends me no end.
Have they forgotten that it was our forefathers who fought and died for our great nation and our democracy is built on their ultimate sacrifice for our freedom – they did not die in vain.
…back to the email
If you had taken the time to have a proper look through my site you would be aware that I commemorate the deaths of all innocent people killed as a direct result of the conflict in Northern Ireland , regardless of political or religious background . I also cover the deaths of paramilitaries from both sides killed “in Action” as my objective to to give a complete picture of the history of the Troubles.
I receive lots of emails and comments about my site and although most of these are positive – a few ( normally from republicans ) accuse me of being a loyalist and somehow responsible for the all the deaths in Northern Ireland’s tortured history. Generally I ignore these emails as they are so far of the mark – if they had taken the time to read my story they would know a bit more about my history and know that I preach love – not hate!
Just because I am proud of the union and my British heritage does not mean I hate Catholics or Irish people or any others for that matter – in fact I judge no man on his colour , creed , religious or political background (apart from Republican Terrorists ).
I judge people on their humanity and empathy towards others and the world around us . Life is for living – so live and let live.
“In spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart.”
― Anne Frank
A few of you have reached out recently, wondering why I’ve been so quiet on social media and the blog, so I thought I should pop into your timelines and give you a quick update.
The truth is, I’m dealing with a few medical issues at the moment. Nothing serious so far, thankfully, but enough to leave me feeling pretty rough and in constant pain. To be honest, when you’re battling nagging aches and pains all day, being sociable isn’t exactly top of the agenda. That’s mainly why I’ve been off the radar for the past week or so.
On top of that, Twitter has become a particularly unpleasant place recently and, for once, I simply can’t be bothered getting dragged into the endless political and current affairs squabbles that seem to dominate every conversation.
The good news is that I’m still off the fags. That’s 13 days smoke-free so far. Because of the medical issues and the medication I’m currently on, I don’t think I’m getting a completely clear picture of the benefits yet. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve stopped coughing up a lung every morning, and both my breathing and sense of taste have noticeably improved. However, I’m on some fairly strong medication and antibiotics right now, and I suspect they’re masking some of the other positive effects I’d normally be noticing.
Hopefully I’ll be feeling better next week and be back to my usual self. Until then, please know how much I appreciate your friendship, support and concern. It really does mean a lot.
I’ll be back causing trouble again soon enough.
Laters x
😏
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This is simply the story of a boy trying to grow up, survive, thrive, have fun & discover himself against a backdrop of events that might best be described as ‘explosive’, captivating & shocking the world for thirty long years.
The Promise I Made as a Boy I was ten years old when lung cancer took my dad. Watching him die such a horrible, painful death changed the shape of my life forever. It traumatised me. It carved a hole in my heart and soul that has never truly healed, although over the years I have learned how to live around it.
At the time, I was angry with him. Angry that he had left us. Angry that he had smoked. Angry that he had not taken better care of himself so he could stay with us, look after us and protect us — especially because we did not have our mum in our lives either. But mostly I was angry because I missed him so much it was painful and I was terrified of a future without him. The broken ten-year-old boy that was me made a promise to his dad and to himself: I would never smoke. And, to be fair to that boy, I kept that promise for the first thirteen or fourteen years of my life. Then I discovered glue, hash and acid — stories for another day — and somewhere in the chaos of my mid-teens, my drug odyssey began. Like those around me, I was trying to escape or block out the madness all around me, and for a while drugs offered a quick, mostly pleasurable form of escape. I only started smoking after my hash ran out. I did not know it then, but I had awakened the little devil of nicotine addiction. I was hooked before I even realised it was happening.
Forty-Five Years of Fags, Excuses and Damage Since then, I have smoked roughly 400,000 fags over the past forty-five years — give or take a few. For most of that time, I never stopped long enough to properly think about what I was doing to myself. I did not count the money. I did not calculate the cost. I did not think seriously about the health problems I was storing up for the older version of me. There were many times when I tried to quit, but from my early twenties until my mid-forties I hardly gave it a thought. I was living in London, working a variety of well-paid jobs, and living inside what felt like a never-ending party. Drink, drugs, sex and every available mood-enhancing distraction were all part of the scenery. Smoking was simply there in the background, constant and unquestioned. The First Serious Escape When my baby girl Autmn was born in 1999, I made my first serious, epic effort to stop. I wanted to live and be healthy to look after her and watch her grow into adult and look forward to the day I would become a grandfather, it was the biggest motivation I could have, and I actually found it really easy to give them up. I managed almost two years without smoking (apart from the occasional spliff) and I was rightly proud of myself and decided to book a family holiday as a reward. We packed our bags , sun-cream and headed to Portugal for a few weeks.
Someone asked me to bring them a few cartons of fags back to the UK and not thinking anything of this request I agreed. Without knowing it I had awakened the sleeping dragon that was my nicotine addiction. Then that wicked little devil started whispering in my ear they are cheap, one or two won’t hurt, c’ome on, you’re on holiday. Before I knew it, I was back on them. And I hated myself for being so weak. I smoked more than 200 fags during that holiday. It felt as though my nicotine addiction had kicked into overdrive, driving me to poison my body with smoke until the craving was finally satisfied and I was left feeling sick and violated at the chemicals that had flooded my body, chemicals that I had administered by choice.
I was back on them and smoking more than ever That became the pattern of my life as a slave to nicotine: stop, feel proud, let my guard down, listen to the voice, start again. Over the years the cycle repeated itself so often that it almost became part of my identity. I was always either smoking, thinking about stopping, trying to stop, or ashamed because I had started again. The Price I Can No Longer Ignore Along the way I was diagnosed with emphysema, COPD and, eventually, chronic lung disease. These were not random bolts from the blue. They were avoidable conditions, and deep down I knew it , but I ignored it in order to protect my addiction; Each diagnosis forced me to pause and briefly consider the benefits of giving up — breathing easier, living longer, wasting less money, not being ruled by a packet of fegs, not stinking of smoke — but addiction is a brutal negotiator and won every time. My dependency on nicotine was stronger than my fear of cancer, of dying prematurely, stronger than my weak willpower and holding my addictive personality hostage and, all too often, stronger than the promises I made to my family , friends and myself and my dad . Even when I cut down or stopped briefly, I kept finding my way back to the habit that has cost me so much over the years, not least my health and a sickening amount of money over the years.
Monday 7 September 2026
The day — and the week — began like any other Monday. Apart from a telephone appointment with the Lung Cancer Screening Service and a plumber coming to look at a problem in my upstairs bathroom, I was bracing myself for the week ahead and the rhythm of daily life began. I had what I suspected was a chest infection, no doubt made worse by smoking twenty cigarettes a day. I was coughing more than usual and, to my horror and disgust, noticed blood in my phlegm. It was not the first time it had happened, and I told myself that if it continued, I would call the doctor and make an appointment. So I pushed it to the back of my mind and carried on with the day. When the Lung Cancer Screening nurse called, she began going through some health questions and background information before booking me in. I mentioned that I had been coughing up blood, and she stopped the questions immediately. She told me they could not continue with the screening because of what I had said and insisted that I contact my doctor and make an appointment as soon as possible. I was also told that I would not be able to go through the screening programme at that point. I felt disappointed, as I had been waiting years for it, and now it looked as though I would have to wait even longer. I called the doctor, and because I had been coughing up blood, she booked me in straight away and told me to come down to the surgery. The doctor was on the ball. He diagnosed a nasty chest infection and gave me a prescription for antibiotics — Doxycycline 100 mg, which I had never taken before. He also asked me to go to Chorley Hospital’s drop-in X-ray service as soon as possible, just to make sure there was nothing else going on. By that point, I was starting to panic a little, and I promised myself that once the infection had cleared, I would stop smoking immediately When I got home, stressed and frightened, I began chain-smoking while my imagination ran wild with thoughts of cancer and a possible death sentence. I had lost both of my parents to lung cancer, and the promise I had made to my dad when I was ten years old came back with a vengeance, as if to mock and torture me.
Tuesday 8th September 2026
Spent the night worrying myself sick that I had left it too late and the inevitable had happened, cancer had finally caught up with me. As a lifelong smoker I had always been aware of but tried my hardest to ignore the health risks of smoking ( and various other drugs) but in the back of my mind, locked away in an impregnable part a little voice tried to be heard and demand that I take seriously the danger I was putting myself in As always, I ignored it. I had half a box of fags at home and promised myself that I would finish those and stop smoking then. But I knew I was lying to myself and trying to appease the little nicotine devil that was making a misery of my life Autumn took me for the X-ray, and thankfully I was in and out within twenty minutes. I have always liked Chorley Hospital because it is small and nowhere near as busy as Royal Preston. After the X-ray was taken, I asked the radiographer when the results would reach my doctor. She said they should arrive within the next week or so. That took some of the urgency out of the health scare, and I headed home making promises to myself. I would stop smoking immediately, improve my health and life expectancy, and maybe, with all the money I would save, finally afford the cruise I had been dreaming about for years. I am ashamed to say that I lied to Autumn and Jude about all of this, a lie to protect them. I didn’t want them to worry about me getting seriously ill, so I told them I was having an X-ray on my frozen shoulder, which had been troubling me for a few weeks and I’m waiting on a steroid injection. I couldn’t bear to see them upset and worried about me. To be fair, as things stood, in my own denial I had nothing to worry about . I had a chest infection, and hopefully the antibiotics would kick in, and I would be back to normal in no time. So I smoked the half box of fags, hating myself everytime I lit another and swearing that tomorrow I would pack them in for good ! I also convinced myself that I had nothing to worry about because there seemed to be no urgency with the x-ray results and told myself by the time I got the results through the infection would have cleared up and by then I would have given up the fags.
At the hospital for a chest x-ray, i keep getting infections and have been coughing up blood ffs & doc sent me here.
Ive been smoking for over 45 years & of the many addictions ive conquered over the years & despite numerous attempts to quit I'm still a slave to nicotine. Ive… pic.twitter.com/eAm9bz1sad
Wednesday 9th sept 2026 Woke up this morning feeling positive and in the right frame of mind to begin my journey of quitting the fags for good and all the good things that would manifest .But my day took a nose dive when I got a call from the doctors telling me that they had received the results of the test (alarmingly too fast imho) and the doctor wants to see me asap. I fookin freaks out and asked her could she tell me anything, of course she says no. She wanted me to come in that day , but I had a meeting later that day and was busy and so she booked me in for the first available appointment, which was Friday morning. I went straight out to the shop and got myself a twenty deck of fags and ….
To be continued…
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Laters X
Friday 11th September 2026
Seen the doctor this morning, after a few sleepless nights and thankfully it was not the death sentence I was expecting. He says there’s something showing up in the x-rays , but he reckons it’s only an infection and took various samples, told me to keep taking the antibiotics and booked me in for another appointment and x-ray next week , and if need be a CT scan to follow. He didn’t mention the BIG C , but I could tell it needed to be discussed and I asked him straight if it could be cancer, he thought for a moment and then said it’s a 95 per cent chance it isn’t cancer , but we need further tests and all I’m thinking about is that other five percent and I still don’t know whether to be happy with that result or panic ! Ive had loads of issues with my lunges over the past 10 years and just before covid I was supposed to have an MRI and a lung function test ect , but this was kicked in to the long grass when covid hit. Since then, Ive been repeatedly requesting these tests and its only now after I’m coughing up blood do they set the train in motion. If it does turn out to be the worst-case scenario and I do have ( I hate even saying it ) cancer I will be raging not just at myself , but my doctors for not acting sooner. Ending on a positive note I wanna say that apart from the chest infection I’m feeling completely normal and surprisingly positive . not point stressing because never helps. Ive dug out my Allen Carr book and conditioning my mind , body and soul to fight and beat the nicotine addiction devil once and for all . Ive started keeping a No Smoking dairy outlining the journey I’m about to take and you can read it via my blog , I’ll post some stuff tomorrow , but tonight Im chill to a movie with Jude and a few glasses of wine.
FYI Ive cut down on the fegs ( I know ) and have a doctor follow up next week and an X-ray to follow . I'm hoping nothing shows up ( 5% is good odds , isnt it ? ) and it was nothing but a nasty chest infection.
FYI Ive cut down on the fegs ( I know ) and have a doctor follow up next week and an X-ray to follow . I’m hoping nothing shows up ( 5% is good odds , isn’t it ? ) and it was nothing but a nasty chest infection. But I’ve ordered loads of NRT sh*t and gonna try and give up next week X
I keep having panic attacks when I consider that maybe it’s more than a chest infection , Ive left it too late too late to give up and I do have cancer
Sunday 20th September 2026
Had a quiet night and chilled watching telly with the kids. Im still smoking ( and hating myself everytime I light up ffs ) but preparing my mind , body and soul to give up next week and for the first time in ages I really feel confident I’m gonna do it this time. Since turning sixty Ive been thinking and worrying more and more about my own mortality , not for me but for Autumn and Jude and the need to be there for them as they enter the adult world and all the trail’s and tribulations that can bring. I wanna live and to there for then and therefore i need to STOP !
Monday 21st September 2026
6:01 PM Well today is the day that Im gonna try and give up the fegs and I feel in the right frame of mind to give it my best shot. I had my last feg ar 1:30.
Ive got all my NRT things together and I don’t want to make it a big issue , I wanna try and take it in my stride. Wish me lucki ! Ive a follow up with the doctor on Wednesday and then an x-ray and I’m hoping for once the gods are kind to me and I get the all clear !
22:56
Not had a feg since my last one at 1:30 and no cravings at all , kinda worried Im finding this so easy !
No Smoking !
Massive day for me…
Had my last feg this afternoon & gathered my No Smoking kit incase of emergency nicotine cravings 😫
For once I am in the right frame of mind to give up & thus far I've not used any NRT products as I dont want to replace one addiction for… pic.twitter.com/gaexTnQSWV
Its been almost 24 hours since Ive smoked a feg ,I’m rather chuffed !
Well folks just a quick update for those of you who are following my stop smoking journey and once again thanks for all the love , support and encouragement , Im truly touched. Ive not had one single feg today and more importantly Ive had no craving whatsoever and tbh Im finding this worryingly easy , not that Im complaining. I thought I may have found it a struggle and with that in mind I stocked up on loads of NRT products so when the craving struck , as I was sure they would , I could try and fight it with the products I had at the ready . But no craving came and I haven’t used anything at all. I think the thought of having cancer has really scared me into a mind-set that is stronger than my addiction and this is a first for me and something I will utilise in the journey I am on.
I’m already feeling better and feeling some of the benefits listed below
Belfast slang is in a league of its own , so it is, and that’s a big part of the city’s craic. The accent and the banter have been shaped by Irish, Scots, and English influences, so if you’re not from here it can sound a wee bit strange at first and might do yer head in. Some words and phrases might confuse youse, and you might think that ballbeg is slabberin but once you get used to it you won’t be ascared anymore and yer man might become your best mucker. So shut your bake and catch yourself on and we’ll go to the offie and get loads of beer and have a mad sesh 😉
A lot of these slang terms are starting to fade a bit, but there are still some crackers in here, including plenty I still use every day. Some are unique to Belfast, while others are heard more across Northern Ireland, or Ireland as a whole. I’ve highlighted the ones I’ve used since childhood in red , most should feel familiar to people from my generation who have grown in Belfast or other areas of Northern Ireland and Scotland.
The Belfast and Northern Ireland slang list below reflects the region’s distinctive humour, warmth, and everyday culture. Many terms describe people, such as eejit, buck eejit, tube, melter, and hallion, while others capture common experiences, like being banjaxed (exhausted or broken), scundered (embarrassed), ragin’ (angry), or wrecked (very tired). Social life features heavily, with words like sesh, swall, parful, and steamin’ relating to nights out and drinking. Everyday conversations are filled with expressions such as bout ye?, what’s the craic?, catch yourself on, wise up, and keep er lit, which reflect the friendly, humorous, and often sarcastic nature of local speech. The frequent use of affectionate terms like wee, mucker, da, ma, and yer man adds character to the dialect, while phrases such as sure, this is it, so it is, and aye are deeply woven into everyday conversation. Altogether, these 100 slang terms paint a vivid picture of Belfast life, combining wit, storytelling, community spirit, and a talent for turning ordinary situations into good craic. ☘️😄
Here are 100 Belfast /N.I slang terms with a brief description of meaning:
#
Term
Meaning
Example Sentence
1
A Poke
An Ice-cream cone
I’m away for a poke from the ice cream van
2
A Score
£20
Can ye lend me a score?
3
Ach
Expression of disappointment or dismissal
Ach, never mind.
4
Ascared
Afraid or scared
The wee lad was ascared of the dog.
5
Ats Us Nai
We’re done/finished
Pub’s closing, ats us nai.
6
Awful Sleekit
Sneaky or sly
He’s awful sleekit around money.
7
Aye
Yes
Aye, I’ll be there.
8
Bake
Face
Look at the state of your bake!
9
Ballbeg
Fool or nuisance
Don’t be a ballbeg.
10
Baltic
Freezing cold
It’s baltic out there.
11
Banjaxed
Broken or exhausted
My car’s banjaxed.
12
Banter
Playful joking
The banter was excellent.
13
Beezer
Brilliant, great
That concert was beezer.
14
Big Lad/Man
A man
A big man or a small man. Basically just any man.
15
Boggin’
Revolting or dirty
That smell is boggin’.
16
Boke
To feel sick or vomit
That nearly made me boke.
17
Bout Ye?
How are you?
Bout ye, mate?
18
Boys a Dear
Expression of surprise
Boys a dear, that’s expensive!
19
Buck Eejit
Complete idiot
The buck eejit lost his keys again.
20
Catch Yourself On
Stop being ridiculous
Catch yourself on!
21
C’mere
Listen to this
C’mere till I tell ye.
22
Courtin’
Dating
They’re courtin’.
23
Da
Dad
My da loves football.
24
Dander
A wee walk
Let’s go for a dander.
25
Dead-On
Great, reliable ,
he’s dead-on ,so he is
26
Dirtbird
Someone who is promiscuous
Don’t be going near him, he’s a dirtbird
27
Does My Head In
Annoys me
You’re doing my feckin head in
28
Dosser
Lazy person
He’s a complete dosser.
29
Eejit
Fool
You eejit!
30
Face Like a Slapped Arse
Looking miserable
You’ve a face like a slapped arse.
31
Faffin’
Wasting time
Stop faffin’ about.
32
Fair Dig
One on one fight
Lets settle this with a fair dig
33
Feck
Mild swear word
Feck, I’ve missed the bus.
34
Feg
Cigarette
Have ye a spare feg?
35
Foundered
Very cold
I’m foundered standing here.
36
Fruit
Odd or gay person
He’s a bit of a fruit.
37
Geg
Joke or laugh
That was some geg.
38
Giro
Benefits payment
His giro arrived today.
39
Give My Head Peace
Leave me alone
Give my head peace, will ye?
40
Gob
Mouth
Shut your gob.
41
Gutties/Guddies
A pair of trainers
Nice guddies.
42
Gurnin’
Complaining
He’s always gurnin’.
43
Hallion
Rascal
That wee hallion broke the fence.
44
Here’s Me Wha
Listen to this
Here’s me wha, you’ll never guess.
45
Hoak
Search through
Have a hoak in the drawer.
46
I’ll Run Ye Over
To give you a lift
I’ll run ye over to the shop.
47
Jammie
Lucky
You jammie beggar.
48
Jammy
Lucky
She’s jammy winning that raffle.
49
Keep Er Lit
Keep the fun going
Keep er lit tonight!
50
Kex
Male underwear
I need a pair of new kex for my big date
51
Leapin
Disgusting
That toilet is leapin
52
Ma
Mum
My ma’s making dinner.
53
Melter
Annoying person
He’s a melter.
54
Messages
Grocery shopping
I’m away for the messages.
55
Milly
A Belfast working class girl
She’s a Shankill Milly.
56
Minger
Unattractive person or thing Ugly
You’re such a minger
57
Mucker
Friend
Alright mucker?
58
Mullarkey
Nonsense
That’s pure mullarkey.
59
Neb
Nose
Mind your neb.
60
Norn Iron
Northern Ireland
Proud of Norn Iron.
61
Offie
Off-licence shop
Going to the offie for drinks.
62
Oh Mummy
Surprise or shock
Oh mummy, look at that!
63
Oul-Doll
Wife, mother or older woman
My oul-doll’s waiting on me.
64
Parful
Very drunk
He was parful last night.
65
Peeler
Police officer
The peelers are here.
66
Piece
Sandwich
Make me a wee piece will ye
67
Pull
Successfully chat up someone
I pulled at the disco late night
68
Ragin’
Furious
He’s ragin’ about it.
69
Reddener
Embarrassing moment
That was a proper reddener.
70
Ride
Attractive person
Everyone says she’s a good ride.
71
Scrounger
Someone after freebies
He’s a scrounger.
72
Scundered
Embarrassed
I was scundered after falling over.
73
Sesh
Drinking session
Big sesh tonight.
74
Slabber
Talk nonsense or cheek
Stop slabbering.
75
Slagging
Teasing
We’re only slagging ye.
76
So It Is
Added for emphasis
It’s warm today, so it is.
77
Sound
Nice, reliable
He’s sound enough.
78
Split
Leave quickly
Let’s split before it rains.
79
Spoof
Exaggeration or bluff
He’s spoofing again.
80
Spoon
Fool
He’s an annoying spoon.
81
State of Ye
You look terrible
State of ye this morning!
82
Steamin’
Extremely drunk
She was steamin’.
83
Sure, This Is It
That’s how it is
Sure, this is it.
84
Thunder Thighs
Humorous nickname for a sexy girl
Thunder Thighs was at the disco
85
Tube
Idiot
You’re a tube.
86
Up to High Doh
Very excited or anxious
She’s up to high doh.
87
Wee
Small
A wee cup of tea? Used for everything
88
Wee Buns
Easy
That exam was wee buns.
89
What’s the Craic?
What’s happening?
What’s the craic tonight?
90
Wick
Stupid, useless
That new Glentoran kit is wick
91
Wind Yer Neck In
Calm down/Shut up
Wind yer neck in.
92
Windee
Window
Open the windee.
93
Wise Up
Stop being silly
Wise up, will ye?
94
Yarn
A story
Tell us a yarn.
95
Yeo
Celebration shout
Yeo! We won!
96
Yer Man
That man
Yer man owns the shop.
97
Yoke
Thing or object
Pass me that yoke.
98
Yousins / Yous
You people
What are yousins doing later?
99
Swall
Alcohol
There’ll be plenty of swall.
100
Wrecked
Very tired
I’m absolutely wrecked after work.
If Ive missed any out please leave a comment at the bottom of page and I’ll add them asap.
☘️ Common Belfast Accent Features
The Belfast accent is one of the most distinctive accents in the UK and Ireland. It varies across different parts of the city, but these are some of the most common features you’ll hear.
1. “Aye” Instead of “Yes”
One of the most famous Northern Irish words.
Yes → Aye
“Aye, I’ll be there later.”
Pronounced like: eye
2. The “R” Is Stronger
Belfast speakers often pronounce their R sounds more clearly than many English accents.
Car → carrr
Far → farrr
The R can sound slightly rolled or tapped.
3. Short “I” Sounds Become “Oi”
Some words containing “i” sound different.
Examples:
Right → roight
Night → noight
Time → toime
Not everyone speaks this way, but it appears in stronger Belfast accents.
4. “About” Sounds Like “Aboot” or “Aboat”
The “ou” sound often changes.
About → aboot / aboat
House → hoose
This is particularly noticeable to visitors.
5. Fast Speech Rhythm
Belfast people often speak quickly and link words together.
For example:
“How are you?” becomes “Howerye?”
or
“What are you doing?” becomes “Whatcha doin’?”
6. Dropping the “G”
Words ending in -ing often lose the final “g”.
Standard English
Belfast
Walking
Walkin’
Talking
Talkin’
Slabbering
Slabberin’
Gurning
Gurnin’
7. “Th” Can Become “D” or “T”
Some speakers soften “th” sounds.
Examples:
That → Dat
This → Dis
Three → Tree
More noticeable in some neighbourhoods than others.
8. The Famous Rising Tone
Many Belfast speakers end sentences with their voice rising slightly, making statements sound almost like questions.
For example:
“I was in town yesterday?”
even though they’re not asking a question.
9. Use of “Wee”
Perhaps the most famous Belfast word.
Everything can be wee:
A wee cup of tea
A wee walk
A wee car
A wee favour
It often means “small” but can also simply make something sound friendlier.
10. Local Pronunciations
Word
Belfast Pronunciation
Craic
Crack
Eejit
EE-jit
Mucker
MUCK-er
Scundered
SKUN-derd
Peeler
PEE-ler
Norn Iron
NORN EYE-urn
Yousins
YOO-zinz
Banjaxed
BAN-jakst
Example Belfast Conversation
Belfast Accent:
“Bout ye, mucker? What’s the craic? It’s baltic out there, so it is. We’ll go for a wee dander later if ye want.”
Standard English:
“How are you, mate? What’s happening? It’s freezing cold outside. We’ll go for a short walk later if you’d like.”
The Belfast accent is known for being friendly, expressive, and full of humour, which is one reason Belfast slang and storytelling are so memorable. ☘️😄
☘️ Belfast Accent vs Other Irish Accents
Although people outside Ireland often group Irish accents together, the Belfast accent is quite distinct from accents found in Dublin, Cork, Galway, Donegal, and other parts of Ireland.
🔵 1. Belfast Sounds More Scottish-Inspired
Because of centuries of connections between Ulster and western Scotland, the Belfast accent shares some features with Scottish accents.
For example:
Word
Belfast
Typical Southern Irish
House
Hoose
House
About
Aboot / Aboat
About
Now
Nai
Now
This Scottish influence is much less noticeable in Dublin, Cork, or Galway accents.
🟢 2. Belfast Is Often Sharper and Faster
Many southern Irish accents sound more flowing and melodic.
Belfast speech is often:
Faster
More abrupt
More energetic
More heavily stressed
For example:
Belfast
“Bout ye? What’s the craic?”
may sound quick and punchy.
Cork
“Howya, boy?”
often sounds more musical and drawn out.
🟡 3. Belfast Uses Different Slang
While some Irish slang is shared across the island, Belfast has many unique terms.
Belfast
Meaning
Eejit
Fool
Banjaxed
Broken
Scundered
Embarrassed
Mucker
Friend
Peeler
Police officer
Wee
Small
Someone from Cork or Kerry may understand these but use different local expressions.
🟣 4. Belfast Pronounces Some Vowels Differently
Words containing “i” often sound different.
Examples:
Standard
Belfast
Right
Roight
Time
Toime
Night
Noight
This feature is much stronger in Belfast than in most southern accents.
🔴 5. Dublin Sounds Different Again
Dublin accents can vary enormously.
A strong inner-city Dublin accent sounds very different from Belfast:
Belfast
“Aye, dead on.”
Dublin
“Yeah, grand.”
The vocabulary alone often gives away where someone is from.
🟠 6. Belfast Has the Famous “Wee”
Perhaps the biggest giveaway.
People in Belfast use wee constantly:
Wee cup of tea
Wee dog
Wee walk
Wee favour
Visitors often notice that even very large things can be called “wee.”
“That’s our wee shopping centre.”
when the shopping centre is enormous.
⚪ 7. Belfast “R” Sounds Are Stronger
Compared with many southern Irish accents, Belfast often has a more pronounced R sound.
Examples:
Car
Far
Park
The R is usually heard clearly rather than softened.
🟤 8. Belfast Intonation Is Unique
Many Belfast speakers use distinctive rises and falls in pitch that can make statements sound almost like questions.
Example:
“I was in town yesterday?”
To outsiders, it can sound like the speaker is constantly asking questions.
Quick Comparison
Feature
Belfast
Dublin
Cork
Scottish influence
Strong
Low
Very low
Uses “wee” constantly
✅
❌
❌
“Aye” for yes
✅
Sometimes
Rarely
Fast, punchy delivery
✅
Varies
Less common
Strong Ulster slang
✅
❌
❌
Distinct “oi” sounds
✅
Usually no
Usually no
Example Phrase
Belfast:
“Bout ye, mucker? What’s the craic? It’s baltic, so it is.”
Dublin:
“Howya? What’s the story? It’s freezing.”
Cork:
“How’s it going, boy? Fierce cold today.”
All three mean roughly the same thing, but a local could usually tell within seconds which part of Ireland the speaker comes from. ☘️
Only thirteen days to go until I hit the big 6-0, and I have to admit I’m getting quite excited about my upcoming trip to Belfast and spending time with the people I love and cherish most in the world.
At the same time, I’m feeling a little apprehensive. Reaching such a milestone age has got me thinking a lot about the future, and the need to start looking after myself better and making some long-overdue lifestyle changes weighs heavily on my mind.
I also need to get my finger out and start pursuing some of the projects I’ve had on ice for the past few years, including:
Finishing my follow-up book
I’ve already mapped out the chapters and started writing several of them, but if I’m being honest, my head hasn’t been in the best place over the last few years. I need to shake off the blues, regain my focus, and get back to it. Time is moving on, and I don’t want to leave this unfinished.
Getting back to work on my screenplay
The screenplay is loosely based on my book – think Philomena meets Trainspotting and Quadrophenia, if you get my drift. Music will play a huge part in the story, and the soundtrack I’ve mapped out is absolutely epic.
A well-known UK screenwriter has expressed an interest in the project, but unfortunately he’s tied up with other commitments at the moment. While I’d love to have him involved, I can’t afford to sit around waiting forever.
A few years ago, I pitched the idea to Northern Ireland Screen, and they loved the concept. They asked for some rewrites, but at the time I wasn’t in a great place mentally, and the project ended up getting kicked into the long grass. Looking back, that’s one of the things I’d really like to put right.
Improving my health
On the health front, I need to stop smoking. I’ve tried countless times over the years without success, but I know it’s something I have to tackle.
I also need to cut down on my alcohol intake. To be fair, these days I mainly drink at weekends and on special occasions, but with my 60th birthday celebrations just around the corner, I’m going to park that challenge until after my Belfast trip. Then it’ll be time to give it the attention it deserves.
Having said all that, it is Friday night, and as I write this I’m enjoying a few gins and beers. I’ll try not to get too carried away… famous last words!
Laters x
Birthday wishes are lovely… but birthday drinks are even better! 😉🍸
So go on, hit the button below and help me raise a glass to another trip around the sun. Bombay Gin is always a winner 😜🎉🥂
😏
Hit the button below and surprise me 👍
One foot in the Grave – countdown to my 60th Birthday has begun
Date 27th June 2026
OMG… in just a few weeks’ time I’ll be turning 60, and if I’m honest, I’m amazed I’ve (almost) reached this numerical milestone.
How the hell did that happen ?
1784217000
days
hours minutes seconds
until
Until my 60th birthday
There were many times in my life when 60 didn’t just feel far away—it felt impossible.
If you’ve read my book, you’ll know my early life was full of chaos and heartbreak. Through my crazy teens and early adulthood, I abused my mind, body and soul with hedonistic excess, fuelled by copious amounts of alcohol , illegal drugs and a fatalistic attitude to life—one where I rarely, if ever, considered the consequences of my actions or the danger I was placing myself in.
Looking back now, I can see that I was probably trying to self‑medicate. Numbing the trauma of my early family life. Trying to escape the everyday brutal reality of growing up in the lawless paramilitary ghettos of West Belfast during the early Troubles.
But here’s the strange thing.
At the time, it all felt normal.
Don’t get me wrong—there was madness and despair in abundance, life lived permanently on edge, the constant undercurrent of violence—but it was the only world we knew. My childhood, like that of my peers, didn’t feel extraordinary to us. It was just life. We didn’t have anything to compare it to, no alternative version of normal.
Despite the odds being stacked against me somehow, I survived. And now, decades later, I’m still here—on the brink of 60—trying to make sense of it all.
How long have I been alive ?
Days:
60 × 365.25 = 21,915 days
Minutes:
21,915 × 24 × 60 = 31,557,600 minutes
Seconds:
31,557,600 × 60 = 1,893,456,000 seconds
21,915 days
That’s about 3,130 weeks
Or roughly 720 months
31.5 million minutes
If you spent 1 minute doing something repeatedly, you’d need over 60 years nonstop to reach this!
Listening to a 3-minute song nonstop → about 10.5 million songs
1.89 billion seconds
Counting 1 number per second, it would take you the full 60 years to reach it
Equivalent to about 21,915 full 24-hour days
Up to this point in my life, I’ve never really thought about my mortality—age was just another number to me, and I drifted through the years without counting them as they passed.
But this birthday… this one feels different.
For the first time in my life, it’s really been playing on my mind. For the first time, I find myself wondering how long I’ve got left—and what my legacy will be.
If I’m lucky, I suppose I could have another 15 or 20 years ahead of me. But when I think about how I’ve treated my body over the years—the smoking, the drinking, the drugs , the stress—I can’t help but wonder if I’ll make it much beyond 80.
It’s one of those pivotal moments in life—new pages along your journey where you stop and take stock. Moments like the birth of your children, getting married, and the loss of loved ones who are no longer with us.
I find myself looking back at what I’ve achieved, weighing it all up, and at the same time looking forward… wondering what the future might still hold and how long I have left.
But putting all those negative thoughts aside, I am looking forward to my birthday party in Belfast—having all those I love and cherish most in the world gathered to celebrate my coming of age.
We are all getting older, and time keeps slipping into the future , whether we like it or not. And to be honest, I wasn’t even sure if I wanted a big celebration. The thought of Jean not being there weighs heavily on my mind.
Her passing left a hole in my heart and soul that can never truly be filled, no matter how much time passes.
.
And yet, I know—deep down—that she wouldn’t want me to shrink away from life or let the sadness and grief overshadow everything else. She’d want me to celebrate, to laugh, to bring people together the way she always did. She’d want me to mark the occasion, not fear it.
And that’s exactly what I intend to do—celebrate not just my life, but the life I’ve shared with my children , siblings and wider family, and the unconditional love that has carried us through everything and still binds us together today.
FFS , Ive gone and depressed myself talking about Jean , and I wanted to end on a positive note. I’m away to have a beer and shake of the blues.
UK Number Ones in 1966
The Kinks Sunny Afternoon was number one on the day I was born which might explain why i love them so much. The Beatles Paperback Writerand many other choons I love also dominated the charts at the time
Come back soon as I will be updating this post with more details on my hopes and dreams for the future and upcoming trip to Belfast and my birthday celebrations.
Date 3rd July 2026 Only thirteen days to go until I hit the big 6-0, and I have to admit I’m getting quite excited about my upcoming trip to Belfast and spending time with the people I love and cherish most in the world. At the same time, I’m feeling a little apprehensive. Reaching such … Continue reading Update: One foot in the Grave – countdown to my 60th Birthday has begun→
Pop culture echoes Trigger warning: ⚠️This post touches on my deep pride and love of my loyalist culture and traditions and if this is not of interest or offends you , please feel free to continue scrolling. Who Do You Think I Am? It’s a question that divides opinion, and I’m acutely aware that many … Continue reading Who do you think I am ?→
Should I Stay or Should I Go ? I’m torn between going or staying . Throughout my time living and working in London and recent years in and around the North West of England it was always my long term intention that when I reached a ripe old age and my kids had settled into … Continue reading Should I Stay or Should I Go – Back to Belfast ?→
Becoming a mod in the early 80s during some of the worst years of the Troubles was a life shaping moment for me and for the first time ever I began moving away from the paramilitary run clubs and discos of my youth and meeting and socialising with my catholic counterparts in the city centre … Continue reading Belfast Mods – In the 80s we give Peace a chance !→
This is simply the story of a boy trying to grow up, survive, thrive, have fun & discover himself against a backdrop of events that might best be described as ‘explosive’, captivating & shocking the world for thirty long years.
“I Don’t Like Mondays” is a song by the Irish new wave band the Boomtown Rats about the Cleveland Elementary School shooting in San Diego. It was released in 1979 as the lead single from their third studio album, The Fine Art of Surfacing. The song was a number-one single in the UK singles chart for four weeks during the summer of 1979, and ranks as the sixth-biggest hit of the UK in 1979.
Written by Bob Geldof and Johnnie Fingers, the piano ballad was the band’s second single to reach number one on the UK chart.
Behind The Vinyl: Bob Geldof “I Don’t Like Mondays”
To be honest I’ve never really been a massive fan of the Boomtown Rats, but they’ve produced a few memorable choons back in the day ( Rat Trap), and I Don’t Like Mondays is definitely my favourite. I love the soft piano intro, it pulls me in straight away and keeps me hooked. The way the song keeps building into something much darker makes it feel way more intense and powerful as it goes on, and the subject matter of the song just adds to that uneasy, emotional vibe which really makes it stand out.
Lyrics
“I Don’t Like Mondays”
The silicon chip inside her head Gets switched to overload And nobody’s gonna go to school today She’s going to make them stay at home
And daddy doesn’t understand it He always said she was as good as gold And he can see no reason ’cause there are no reasons What reason do you need to be shown?
(Tell me why) I don’t like Mondays (Tell me why) I don’t like Mondays (Tell me why) I don’t like Mondays I wanna shoot
The whole day down
The telex machine is kept so clean And it types to a waiting world Her mother feels so shocked, father’s world is rocked And their thoughts turn to their own little girl
Sweet 16 ain’t that peachy keen No, it ain’t so neat to admit defeat They can see no reasons ’cause there are no reasons What reason do you need, oh, ohoho
(Tell me why) I don’t like Mondays (Tell me why) I don’t like Mondays (Tell me why) I don’t like Mondays I wanna shoot
The whole day down, down, down Shoot it all down
And all the playing’s stopped in the playground now She wants to play with the toys a while And school’s out early and soon we be learning And the lesson today is how to die
And then the bullhorn crackles and the captain tackles With the problems and the hows and whys And he can see no reasons ’cause there are no reasons What reason do you need to die, die, ohoho
And the silicon chip inside her head Gets switched to overload, oh And nobody’s gonna go to school today She’s going to make them stay at home
And daddy doesn’t understand it He always said she was as good as gold And he can see no reason ’cause there are no reasons What reason do you need to be shown?
(Tell me why) I don’t like Mondays (Tell me why) I don’t like Mondays (Tell me why) I don’t like, I don’t like (Tell me why) I don’t like Mondays
Tell me why I don’t like, I don’t like (Tell me why) I don’t like Mondays Tell me why I don’t like Mondays I wanna shoot
The whole day down (Ooohooohooo, ooohooohooo Ooohooohooo)
Background and writing
Brenda Ann Spencer
According to Geldof, he wrote the song after reading a telex report at Georgia State University’s campus radio station, WRAS, on the shooting spree of 16-year-old Brenda Ann Spencer, who fired from her bedroom window at children in a school playground at Grover Cleveland Elementary School in San Diego, California, on 29 January 1979, killing two adults and injuring eight children and one police officer. Spencer showed no remorse for her crime; her explanation for her actions was:
“I don’t like Mondays. This livens up the day”
.Her flippant response attracted media attention and inspired the song. Geldof had been contacted by Steve Jobs to play a gig for Apple, inspiring the opening line about a “silicon chip”. The song was first performed less than a month later.
Geldof explained how he wrote the song:
I was doing a radio interview in Atlanta with Johnnie Fingers and there was a telex machine beside me. I read it as it came out. Not liking Mondays as a reason for doing somebody in is a bit strange. I was thinking about it on the way back to the hotel and I just said ‘silicon chip inside her head had switched to overload’.
I wrote that down. And the journalists interviewing her said, ‘Tell me why?’ It was such a senseless act. It was the perfect senseless act and this was the perfect senseless reason for doing it. So perhaps I wrote the perfect senseless song to illustrate it.
It wasn’t an attempt to exploit tragedy.
The cheerful music is deliberate
One of the most striking things:
The song sounds almost upbeat and melodic
But the subject is extremely dark
That contrast is intentional:
It mirrors how shocking the real quote was
A horrific act paired with a casual, almost trivial explanation
Geldof had originally intended the song as a B-side, but changed his mind after the song was successful with audiences on the Rats’ US tour. Spencer’s family tried to prevent the single from being released in the United States, but were unsuccessful.
In later years, Geldof stated that he regretted writing the song because he “made Brenda Spencer famous”.
In 2019, Geldof and Fingers reached an agreement in their dispute over who wrote the song, until then credited solely to Geldof. Fingers received a financial settlement and co-credit.
Released on 13 July 1979, the song reached number one in the United Kingdom, Ireland, Australia and South Africa, and the top 10 in several other countries. It was less successful in the US, reaching only number 73 on the Billboard Hot 100.
In 1994, the song was re-released to promote the greatest hits album Loudmouth. It then peaked at number 38 on the UK singles chart.
In the UK, the song won the Best Pop Song and Outstanding British Lyric categories at the Ivor Novello Awards.
See here for more details :
Brenda Ann Spencer & Cleveland Elementary School shooting
The story behind“I Don’t Like Mondays” by The Boomtown Rats is much darker than most people realise — it’s not really about disliking the start of the week at all. It comes from a real-life tragedy, and the meaning of the song is tied to the unsettling idea of senseless violence with no clear reason.
The shooting took place on January 29, 1979, at Grover Cleveland Elementary School in San Diego, California, United States] This is considered the first mass shooting at an elementary school in United States history.
Principal Burton Wragg and custodian Mike Suchar
Burton Wragg, age 53, the school principal, who had stepped outside to help children get to safety
Mike Suchar, age 56, the school custodian
The principal Burton Wragg and the custodian Mike Suchar were killed; eight children and a police officer were wounded. Brenda Spencer, a 16-year-old girl who lived in a house across the street from the school, was convicted of the shootings. Charged as an adult, she pleaded guilty to two counts of murder and assault with a deadly weapon and was sentenced to life in prison with a chance of parole after 25 years. As of 2026, she is still in prison.
While police surrounded the house, a journalist called her and asked a simple question:
“Why did you do it?”
Her answer was chillingly casual:
“I don’t like Mondays. This livens up the day.”
That line shocked people worldwide — not just because of what happened, but because of how empty and random the reason sounded.
The shooting
On the morning of Monday, January 29, 1979, Spencer began shooting from her house at children across the street who were waiting for 53-year-old Principal Burton Wragg to open the gates to Grover Cleveland Elementary.[4] She injured eight children. She first shot nine-year-old Cam Miller, who said he believed it was because he was wearing blue, which he had learned was her favorite color. Spencer shot and killed Wragg as he and teacher Daryl Barnes tried to help children. She fatally shot 56-year-old custodian Mike Suchar as he tried to pull a student to safety. A 28-year-old police officer, Robert Robb, had responded to a call for assistance and she shot and wounded him in the neck as he arrived.
Robb prevented further casualties by moving a garbage truck in front of the school entrance to obstruct her line of fire.
After firing thirty-six times, Spencer barricaded herself inside her home for several hours. She spoke by telephone to a reporter from The Evening Tribune, who had been calling random telephone numbers in the neighborhood. Spencer told the reporter she had shot at the school children and adults because, “I don’t like Mondays. This livens up the day.”
She told police negotiators that the children and adults whom she had shot were easy targets and that she was going to “come out shooting”.
She surrendered and left the house after being promised a Burger King meal by negotiators.
Brenda Ann Spencer background and family life
Brenda Ann Spencer (born April 3, 1962) was born to Dorothy Nadine (née Hobel) and Wallace Edward Spencer. They married on December 12, 1954, in Chula Vista and had three children. Brenda was the youngest. In January 1972, after Dorothy found out her husband had been cheating on her with multiple women, she filed for divorce.
After her parents separated, Brenda allegedly lived in poverty with her father. Both father and daughter slept on a single mattress on the living room floor, in a house strewn with empty bottles of alcohol.
At later parole hearings, she claimed to have been subject to “total neglect” from her mother and sexual abuse from her father. The accusations have been disputed by the respective parents. At the time, she lived in a house across the street from the school. Aged 16 at the time of the shooting, she was 5’2″ (157 cm) and very thin, and had bright red hair.
Acquaintances said Spencer expressed hostility toward police officers, had spoken about shooting one, and had talked of doing something big to get on television. Although Spencer showed ability as a photographer, winning first place in a Humane Society competition, she was generally uninterested in school. She attended Patrick Henry High School, where one teacher recalled frequently inquiring if she was awake in class. Later, during tests while she was in custody, it was discovered that Spencer had an injury to one of the temporal lobes of her brain. It was attributed to an accident on her bicycle.
Spencer described herself as a “radical” and referred to police officers as “pigs,” exclaiming “All right!” when seeing news on TV about police officers being killed. She often talked about wanting to kill police officers or “blow them away.”[ Some classmates described her as “crazy” and reported being scared of her.
In early 1978, staff at a facility for problem students, into which Spencer had been referred for truancy, informed her parents that she was suicidal. That summer, Spencer, who was known to hunt birds in the neighborhood, was arrested for shooting out the windows of Grover Cleveland Elementary with a BB gun and for burglary. Police reports and eyewitnesses do not mention the use of a BB gun during the school vandalism.
In December 1978, while she was still on probation for breaking into the school, a psychiatric evaluation arranged by her probation officer recommended that Spencer be admitted to a mental hospital for depression. Her father refused to give permission. For Christmas 1978, he gave her a Ruger 10/22 semi-automatic .22 caliber rifle with a telescopic sight and 500 rounds of ammunition.
Spencer later said, “I asked for a radio and got a rifle.” Asked why he had done that, she answered:
“He bought the rifle so I would kill myself.”
Analysis
Several 21st century accounts identify the Cleveland Elementary School shooting in San Diego as the earliest recorded elementary school shooting in the United States. The perpetrator, Brenda Spencer, has been described as the first modern high-profile school shooter. According to a 2013 article in the New York Daily News, her actions marked a significant turning point in American history. Given later history of violent acts, Spencer has been referred to as “the mother” of subsequent school shootings, including those at Columbine, Colorado, and Newtown, Connecticut, both committed by teenage males. The number of school shootings has increased markedly since 1979.
San Diego County Deputy District Attorney Richard Sachs noted that Spencer “hurt so many people and had so much to do with starting a deadly trend in America.” In a 2001 statement, Spencer acknowledged the potential influence of her actions on later incidents, remarking, “With every school shooting, I feel I’m partially responsible. What if they got the idea from what I did?”
Imprisonment
Convicted school shooter Brenda Spencer speaks with San Diego’s News 8 – PART 1
Spencer was charged as an adult. She pleaded guilty to two counts of murder and assault with a deadly weapon. On April 4, 1980, a day after her 18th birthday, she was sentenced to concurrent terms of 25 years to life in prison. Nine counts of attempted murder were dismissed. In prison, Spencer was diagnosed with epilepsy and received medication to treat epilepsy and depression. While at California Institution for Women in Chino, she worked repairing electronic equipment.
Under the terms of her sentencing, Spencer became eligible in 1993 for hearings to consider her suitability for parole.
At her first hearing, in 1993, Spencer said she had hoped that police would shoot her, and that she had been a user of alcohol and drugs at the time of the crime. But, results of drug tests done when she was taken into custody were negative. At her 2001 parole hearing, Spencer claimed that her father had been subjecting her to beatings and sexual abuse, but he said the allegations were not true. The parole board chairman said that, because she had not previously told anyone about the allegations, he doubted their veracity.
In 2005, a San Diego deputy district attorney cited an incident of self-harm from four years earlier, when Spencer’s girlfriend was released from jail, as showing that Spencer was psychotic and unfit to be released. Early reports indicated that Spencer had scratched the words “courage” and “pride” into her own skin. Spencer corrected this during her parole hearing; she said the words were “unforgiven” and “alone.”
2020 mugshot of Spencer.
In 2009, the board again refused her application for parole, and ruled it would be ten years before she would be considered again. In August 2022, Spencer and the Board of Parole Hearings agreed that she was not suitable for parole and that she would not be eligible for another hearing for a further three years. In February 2025, she was again denied parole. She remains imprisoned at California Institution for Women in Chino.
Life in prison
Brenda Spencer has spent her entire adult life incarcerated.
She has been held in California state prison since 1979
She grew up, matured, and aged entirely behind bars
Over the years:
Reports suggest she has had disciplinary issues at times
She has taken part in some education and prison programmes (details vary by source)
But importantly: she has never been released.
Parole hearings (and why she remains in prison)
Because of her sentence, she became eligible for parole in the early 1990s (about 25 years after sentencing).
However:
She has applied for parole multiple times
Each request has been denied
Why she keeps being denied parole
Parole boards look at several factors, and in her case:
1. Nature of the crime
It involved children and a public setting
It’s seen as a serious and shocking act
2. Her explanations
At different times, she has given varying reasons for what she did
These sometimes included:
claims of abuse
claims of intoxication
shifting accounts over the years
This inconsistency raises concerns about:
whether she fully understands or takes responsibility
3. Perceived risk
Parole boards assess:
whether someone is likely to reoffend
whether they show remorse and insight
Her case has often been judged as:
not showing enough clear, consistent insight into the crime
Attempts to explain her actions (after the fact)
In later years, Spencer did try to explain what happened more deeply than her original statement.
She has claimed:
she suffered abuse and neglect growing up
she was using alcohol and possibly medication at the time
However:
Some of these claims were disputed or unverified
And they didn’t fully satisfy the authorities reviewing her case
The core issue remains: Even her later explanations don’t fully match the scale or randomness of the act.
Where things stand today
Brenda Ann Spencer remains in prison to this day
She continues to be eligible for future parole hearings, but release is uncertain
If you want, I can explain how this case influenced public awareness of school violence or how it compares to later cases.
Here’s a clear summary of Brenda Ann Spencer’s parole history, based only on what the sources explicitly confirm.
Parole hearing history (summary)
📅 Eligibility
Spencer was sentenced to life with the possibility of parole after 25 years
That made her eligible for her first parole hearings starting in the early 1990s (25 years after 1979)
❌ Repeated denials
She has applied for parole multiple times over several decades
Each time, parole has been denied
🧾 Current status
As of the most recent information available today
She remains in prison
She is still eligible for future parole hearings
Patterns in parole outcomes (from reported information)
While detailed parole transcripts aren’t always public, sources consistently point to:
Ongoing concerns about the seriousness of the crime
Questions about her explanations and insight (her reasons have changed over time)
The need for demonstrable remorse and understanding, which parole boards assess
One‑sentence takeaway
👉 Brenda Ann Spencer has been eligible for parole for decades but has never been granted release, and she remains incarcerated today.
Her next opportunity for a parole hearing will be in 2028.
Aftermath
A plaque and flagpole were erected at Cleveland Elementary in memory of the shooting victims. Due to declining enrollment, the school was closed in 1983, along with a dozen other public schools around the city. In the ensuing decades, it was leased to several charter and private schools. From 2005 to 2017, it housed the Magnolia Science Academy, a public charter middle school serving students in grades 6–8.
memorial plaque honoring Burton Wragg and Mike Suchar
The school board decided to sell the school because of budget issues. In 2018, the building was demolished by the new owner and the site was redeveloped for housing. The memorial plaque was relocated to the southern edge of the former school site, at the corner of Lake Atlin Avenue and Lake Angela Drive.
Spencer and her family
In the months following the shooting, one of Brenda Spencer’s first cellmates at the juvenile facility was released. The 17-year-old girl moved in with Spencer’s father, whom she’d met through his visits to Brenda. They later married on March 26, 1980, in Yuma, Arizona. They had a daughter together, after which she fled the household and eventually divorced her estranged husband.She left Wallace Spencer to raise the girl alone.
Wallace Spencer died in February 2016.
Survivors
On January 17, 1989, almost ten years after the shooting, there was a shooting at a school in Stockton, California. Coincidentally it was also named Grover Cleveland Elementary. Five students were killed and thirty injured. Christy Buell, a survivor of the 1979 shooting, was “shocked, saddened, horrified” by the headlines concerning the incident.
Bon Jovi & Bob Geldof – I Don’t Like Mondays (London 2010)
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This is simply the story of a boy trying to grow up, survive, thrive, have fun & discover himself against a backdrop of events that might best be described as ‘explosive’, captivating & shocking the world for thirty long years.
I Don’t Like Mondays The Boomtown Rats 13 July 1979 Iconic Songs & the story behind them “I Don’t Like Mondays” is a song by the Irish new wave band the Boomtown Rats about the Cleveland Elementary School shooting in San Diego. It was released in 1979 as the lead single from their third studio album, The Fine Art of Surfacing. The song was a number-one … Continue reading I Don’t Like Mondays – the Boomtown Rats: Iconic Songs & the story behind them→
Lola – The Kinks : Iconic Songs Iconic Songs and the story behind them “Lola” is a song written by Ray Davies and performed by English rock band the Kinks on their album Lola Versus Powerman and the Moneygoround, Part One. The song details a romantic encounter between a young man and a possible cross-dresser, whom he meets in a club in Soho, London. … Continue reading Lola – The Kinks : Iconic Songs & the story behind them→
Love Will Tear Us Apart Joy Division June 1980 Iconic Songs & the story behind them “Love Will Tear Us Apart” is a song by English rock band Joy Division, released in June 1980. Its lyrics were inspired by lead singer Ian Curtis‘ marriage problems and frame of mind before his suicide in May 1980 Recording Joy Division first … Continue reading Love Will Tear Us Apart – Joy Division: Iconic Songs & the story behind them→
The Jam That’s Entertainment January 1981 The Jam : Iconic Songs & the story behind them “That’s Entertainment” is a 1980 song by British punk–mod revivalist group the Jam from their fifth album, Sound Affects. Although never released as a domestic single in the UK during the band’s lifetime, “That’s Entertainment” nonetheless charted as an import single (backed by a … Continue reading That’s Entertainment -The Jam : Iconic Songs & the story behind them→
Small Faces TIN SOLDIER 2nd December 1967 Tin Soldier – Small Faces : Iconic Songs & the story behind them “Tin Soldier” is a song released by the English rock band Small Faces on 2 December 1967, written by Steve Marriott (credited to Marriott/Lane). The song peaked at number nine in the UK singles chart and number 38 in Canada. It has since … Continue reading Tin Soldier – Small Faces : Iconic Songs & the story behind them→
Going Underground – The Jam The Jam Going Underground March 1980 Going Underground – The Jam: Iconic Songs & the story behind them “Going Underground” is the first British #1 chart single by The Jam, released in March 1980. It went straight in at #1 in the UK Singles Chart, spending three weeks at the top. It was the first … Continue reading Going Underground – The Jam: Iconic Songs & the story behind them→
The Stranglers Golden Brown January 1982 Golden Brown – The Stranglers: Iconic Songs & the story behind them Golden Brown – The Stranglers “Golden Brown” is a song by the English rock band the Stranglers. It was released as a 7″ single in December 1981 in the United States and in January 1982 in the United … Continue reading Golden Brown – The Stranglers: Iconic Songs & the story behind them→
⚠️This post touches on my deep pride and love of my loyalist culture and traditions and if this is not of interest or offends you , please feel free to continue scrolling.
Who Do You Think I Am?
It’s a question that divides opinion, and I’m acutely aware that many people’s first impressions of me are shaped by their political, religious, or cultural background. Those impressions are also influenced by the way my life story has been portrayed in my book and across mainstream and social media. I make no secret of my deep and abiding love for my loyalist culture and background. I know that is a deeply polarising issue, but in my experience, most people I take the time to engage with show me the same respect I give them.
The simplest answer, of course, is that I’m John Chambers. But depending on who the question is aimed at , I can be seen in very different ways:
To some, I’m the bloke who wrote the bestselling book A Belfast Child.
To others, I’m that loyalist fella who appeared in Once Upon a Time in Northern Ireland.
To republican fanboys and haters, I’m an orange bastard, a planter, a bigot, a racist, a neo-Nazi, they know nothing!
To many who follow me on X and through my website, I’m a blogger who shares interesting content, epic music, and random banter whenever the mood takes me—often fuelled by copious amounts of alcohol and the occasional spliff.
To my family and close friends, I’m Stephen
But anyone who takes the time to know me properly will find there is far more to me than the stereotype of a Belfast loyalist with a love of music and popular culture.
What lays beneath
Beneath that exterior, I’m passionate about social justice and deeply curious about history, politics, current affairs, science, and much more. I thrive on deep, meaningful conversation. There are many layers to my character that are not obvious to the casual—or biased—observer. If I’m honest, I see myself as one of the good guys: someone with a deep, and at times painful, empathy for people who have been dealt a hard hand by fate, as I was in my younger years. If you’ve read my book you’ll understand that statement .
Can You See the Real Me?
Although I was christened John Stephen Chambers, after my da and grandda, I’ve always been known as Stephen—with a P—by my family, friends, and the tribal community I grew up in, for reasons lost in the corridors of time.
Throughout my life, I’ve been known by many different names. At times, that caused confusion with official documents and introductions and led to mix-ups at school or later when I entered the job market and had to produce my National Insurance number or passport. Still, the variety of names has added a distinctive twist to my story, making my personal history even more interesting—if occasionally complicated.
The Names That Shaped Me ?
A Boy Named Sue
Apparently, it’s quite common across the UK and Ireland to be known by a middle name, and to be honest I never gave it much thought until I was older and had to show official ID as I entered the adult world. To add to the confusion, I have a younger cousin also called Steven (Pickle), so within the family and community we became Big Stephen and Little Steven. As a child, my family nick name was Big Bird—not because I was yellow, but because I was tall—and, to my bemusement and annoyance, some of my cousins still call me that. Yes, Linda, I’m looking at you.
Mostly, though, my family call me Our Stephen, and I’m perfectly happy with that.
Jay and myself
One of my childhood friends and closest mates, Belfast mod legend Jay McFall, has always called me simply Chambers, and has done so since we were kids growing up in the crazy 80s. I’ve no idea why. Later, when I became a mod and started spending time in the pubs and clubs in the city centre and beyond, most people on the scene called me Chambers too. It became just another name added to the long list I’d collected throughout my life, along with all the bemusement and occasional bewilderment that came with it.
Honouring My Da
As I grew older and wiser, I came to embrace my official name, John Chambers—not just as the name on official documents, but as a way of honouring my da and keeping his memory alive. Over time, it became more than a formality. It became a small but meaningful connection to where I come from and to the man whose name I carry—someone I have missed every day since he died fifty years ago.
To carry on that legacy, I named my son Jude John Chambers, and my brother David did the same with his son, John Chambers , know as Johnny .
My dad’s name will live on. Perhaps one day, when I am dust and long gone, a distant descendant tracing our family history will come across my book or this blog post and, for a moment, feel they have found me. Perhaps through these words they will come to know the real me, and understand not only who I was, but where I came from and what mattered most to me.
” English John ”
This is a story about me making a fool out of myself with a Belfast legend and an annoying nickname my mates in Belfast insist in calling me
By my late teens, I had grown weary of Belfast and the chaos that shaped my daily life, so I made the life-changing decision to move to London and start over. There were many reasons for leaving, but at the heart of it was a deep unhappiness with the life I was living and a profound despair at the unending violence and brutality that surrounded me—and Belfast more generally.
I was living in the heartlands of loyalist Ulster, and there was no escaping the sectarian madness that ruled and ruined our daily lives. By then, I had started mixing with and dating Catholics, and that opened up an entirely new universe to me—one that had previously been out of bounds.
That may be difficult for people outside that world to fully understand, but throughout my childhood and teens I had been segregated from my Catholic counterparts. Apart from those I met during my many childhood hospital stays, I had never really socialised with Catholics or had Catholic friends.
I was on a voyage of discovery, and Belfast had become too small for me. So I packed my bags and my dreams, boarded a plane for the first time, and stepped into a new and exciting chapter of my life—a never-ending party fuelled by alcohol and drugs.
Date 3rd July 2026 Only thirteen days to go until I hit the big 6-0, and I have to admit I’m getting quite excited about my upcoming trip to Belfast and spending time with the people I love and cherish most in the world. At the same time, I’m feeling a little apprehensive. Reaching such … Continue reading Update: One foot in the Grave – countdown to my 60th Birthday has begun→
Pop culture echoes Trigger warning: ⚠️This post touches on my deep pride and love of my loyalist culture and traditions and if this is not of interest or offends you , please feel free to continue scrolling. Who Do You Think I Am? It’s a question that divides opinion, and I’m acutely aware that many … Continue reading Who do you think I am ?→
Should I Stay or Should I Go ? I’m torn between going or staying . Throughout my time living and working in London and recent years in and around the North West of England it was always my long term intention that when I reached a ripe old age and my kids had settled into … Continue reading Should I Stay or Should I Go – Back to Belfast ?→
Becoming a mod in the early 80s during some of the worst years of the Troubles was a life shaping moment for me and for the first time ever I began moving away from the paramilitary run clubs and discos of my youth and meeting and socialising with my catholic counterparts in the city centre … Continue reading Belfast Mods – In the 80s we give Peace a chance !→
This is simply the story of a boy trying to grow up, survive, thrive, have fun & discover himself against a backdrop of events that might best be described as ‘explosive’, captivating & shocking the world for thirty long years.
Please check back soon—I’m still working on this post, and I’ll publish it once it’s finished.
In the meantime, please subscribe to my blog to receive email notifications whenever I publish new content. Thank you.
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Hit the button below and surprise me 👍
This is simply the story of a boy trying to grow up, survive, thrive, have fun & discover himself against a backdrop of events that might best be described as ‘explosive’, captivating & shocking the world for thirty long years.
Please check back soon—I’m still working on this post, and I’ll publish it once it’s finished.
In the meantime, please subscribe to my blog to receive email notifications whenever I publish new content. Thank you.
😏
Hit the button below and surprise me 👍
This is simply the story of a boy trying to grow up, survive, thrive, have fun & discover himself against a backdrop of events that might best be described as ‘explosive’, captivating & shocking the world for thirty long years.
Evening all , Im heading home to Belfast tomorrow for the Easter period and hopefully a trip down south to visit my bro and his family in County Meath , depending on a few factors which are out of my control 😜
Belfast will always be my home and although I look forward to visiting and spending time with those I love and cherish to be honest since Jean’s death it has lost some of its magic and nowadays every trip home is tinged with sadness and regret at what I have lost. Every street on the Shankill and surrounding areas holds memories of better times and the ghosts of my past still walk these street and I cant help but feel sadness with them so near.
But enough of this sadness, I intend to have a blast and makes new memories.
Stay tuned because its gonna get messy and if you see me on the road or out and about don’t be afraid to say hello and buy me a pint or six 😜
c
